Rosemary & Steve Knowledgebase

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Teachings from Rosemary Weissman

This page includes all of Rosemary's teachings in the database. They are sorted by their source, for example, which Special Retreat the question originated in. Within each retreat the entries are ordered according to day (Day 1, Day 2, etc.), and the order in which the entries were made (the index number).

Each entry has a unique reference, which can be used to find entries quickly.
To learn more about this, go to the "About the Reference Codes" page.

At present there are 1113 entries in this list.

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Day
Index
Question
3
1
Could you please repeat the Reflection to do before walking meditation, and maybe talk a little about Rebirth in relation to this?
Ref: 2000.01.x.03.01
Written answer
3
2
Is it more our opinion about what we are doing that brings contentment, whether we think it is good or bad, or if it is in reality beneficial for ourselves and others. E.g. I heard that Pol Pot died peacefully and maybe he thought he had done something good.
Ref: 2000.01.x.03.02
Written answer
3
3
Do you have some techniques to help me stay awake during the talks and guided meditations?
Ref: 2000.01.x.03.03
Written answer
3
4
What causes, in a Buddhist thinking, bring me to Wat Kow Tahm?
Ref: 2000.01.x.03.04
Written answer
3
5
Please can you explain the value of the Five and Eight Precepts?
Ref: 2000.01.x.03.05
Written answer
3
6
Is it OK to do the Five Reflections in a conversational tone, in a way that links them all together? Example: "Yes I'm very fortunate to have a precious human body and opportunities for Dhamma practice, but Death might come at any time, any minute, and I'd better not waste this chance. Everything is impermanent and these conditions will pass away, etc." Or is it more beneficial to always stop and ponder each one separately?
Ref: 2000.01.x.03.06
Written answer
- Death
- Dhamma
3
7
Do the Five Reflections have to be done formally, example in formal postures, or can one just take any opportunity that presents itself to reflect on such things?
Ref: 2000.01.x.03.07
Written answer
3
8
Isn't moment to moment awareness like knowing and reflecting on mind states and things like the Five Reflections.
Ref: 2000.01.x.03.08
Written answer
3
9
I have been adding the phrase "may these _____ be free of..." at the end of my reflection of Compassion and then going into the Lovingkindness wish. The idea was to strengthen the short form of the Compassion and Lovingkindness. Do you see any troubles with this?
Ref: 2000.01.x.03.09
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness
- Dukkha
3
10
What advantage has the standing compared to the sitting meditation? Can you recommend to do standing meditation in certain situations in life?
Ref: 2000.01.x.03.10
Written answer
3
11
During the D/D (Defusing/Diffusing Compassion and Lovingkindness) meditation last night, I found it easier to imagine someone of a certain age by bringing to mind briefly someone I know that age. Is it OK to do this to help my visualization? Does this take away from making it universal?
Ref: 2000.01.x.03.11
Written answer
5
1
What can I do if aversion arises against Compassion and Lovingkindness meditation?
Ref: 2000.01.x.05.01
Written answer
5
2
Please how is it possible to tell the difference between wise caution and habitual fear? When fear is so universal and deep, yet wise caution can protect us.
Ref: 2000.01.x.05.02
Written answer
5
3
How do we work with the achieving mind, to balance it and to put it to good use?
Ref: 2000.01.x.05.03
Written answer
5
4
What is the purpose of entering high states of concentration, can wisdom be obtained in these states?
Ref: 2000.01.x.05.04
Written answer
5
5
Is it all right to let meditations to flow into each other, or should we keep strictly to the form? E.g., while practicing Mindfulness of Breathing, strong aversion to a sensation arises, switch object to the sensation, which passes, leading to a reflection on impermanence.
Ref: 2000.01.x.05.05
Written answer
- Impermanence
- Reflection
5
6
What is meant by formless meditation? Does it mean no object, any object that arises at a particular moment, or something else? Please explain.
Ref: 2000.01.x.05.06
Written answer
- Concentration
5
7
What is Broong Dtang?
Ref: 2000.01.x.05.07
Written answer
- Broong Dtang
- Reflection
5
8
I wanted to do a reflection where I took Sympathetic Joy for the efforts the Sangha makes to work on themselves/help each other. E.g. I thought about how people on this island celebrated the New Year, and how at Wat Kow Tahm it was celebrated, or how most people work for profit and generally most people in the Sangha don't. Do you have a short form of Sympathetic Joy, and I wasn't always sure when to say the Sympathetic Joy phrase, especially when one thought sparked off another about the good qualities of the Sangha. Hope this makes sense.
Ref: 2000.01.x.05.08
Written answer
5
9
Would you like to give a numbered list of the contents of the tool box?
Ref: 2000.01.x.05.09
Written answer
5
10
Is it true that if a person develops good Morality, then they will automatically get good Concentration? And if a person develops good Concentration, then they will automatically get good Wisdom?
Ref: 2000.01.x.05.10
Written answer
5
11
With the Death Reflection I find my mind can get quite fascinated with all the different ways to die, what they would be like, then it starts to want to experience them, so it would know definitely how it would feel. Is this a type of hindrance, and is there a technique to balance it?
Ref: 2000.01.x.05.11
Written answer
- Death
- Reflection
5
12
Why do you want us not to reflect while doing walking meditation?
Ref: 2000.01.x.05.12
Written answer
5
13
What can you do if you see a certain warping of compassion towards somebody occurring? That is, a feeling of superiority/inferiority arises, the benevolent offerer of compassion, very unskillfully done, feeling perked up and above somehow the receiver. Obviously not a true compassionate heart, but if it should be tainted even to a slight degree with this feeling, what can be done?
Ref: 2000.01.x.05.13
Written answer
6
1
What are the eight worldly conditions?
Ref: 2000.01.x.06.01
Written answer
- Eight worldly dhammas
- Pain
6
2
Please can you remind me of the pattern of Sympathetic Joy meditation or give another one?
Ref: 2000.01.x.06.02
Written answer
6
3
How do we make Compassion and Lovingkindness meditation for very difficult people who cause a lot of harm in this world. How to separate them from their actions?
Ref: 2000.01.x.06.03
Written answer
6
4
Please do you have some techniques on how to forgive someone who caused big difficulties for us?
Ref: 2000.01.x.06.04
Written answer
6
5
Who decides if somebody is enlightened? Who decided it about the Buddha?
Ref: 2000.01.x.06.05
Written answer
6
6
Could you please explain the difference between fear and worry and how we can differentiate them when we investigate the hindrances?
Ref: 2000.01.x.06.06
Written answer
6
7
Rosemary talked about changing objects of meditation yesterday, say from the breathing to being aware of a sensation in the body, unpleasant sensation in the body leading to a reflection on impermanence and said that is ok. Was she only referring to this being ok while doing the breathing or is it ok for doing also with Reflection meditation?
Ref: 2000.01.x.06.07
Written answer
6
8
Reflecting on a very painful death, how can we have an open mind with so much pain in the body, how can we have to have a strong mind?
Ref: 2000.01.x.06.08
Written answer
6
9
Are the 10-day Vipassana retreats a traditional form of practice, or where were the origins? Do Thai people visiting the Wat know what these foreigners are doing?
Ref: 2000.01.x.06.09
Written answer
- Vipassana
6
10
With the knowing of change, that every feeling is changing, how can I say to a person that I love them, or say I want to marry them, and stay with them until I die?
Ref: 2000.01.x.06.10
Written answer
- Wisdom
6
11
Could you please elaborate on the dependent arising nature of Dukkha, give an example, especially for Dukkha relating to Desire?
Ref: 2000.01.x.06.11
Written answer
- Desire
- Dukkha
6
12
Please explain, can someone who has a big ego be a good teacher, and what is the problem with the ego, can you talk a little bit about the ego?
Ref: 2000.01.x.06.12
Written answer
8
1
Please can you give some example(s) of how to make a short form of Compassion and Lovingkindness meditation?
Ref: 2000.01.x.08.01
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness
- Dukkha
8
2
What kind of Reflection could help to lessen the self-pity mind?
Ref: 2000.01.x.08.02
Written answer
8
3
Sometimes a hindrance like planning comes up frequently, not all at once, but again and again, and most times I note it, then it disappears quickly. Is it enough just to note it, or does it still have an effect through it's coming up so often, and would I need a balancing Reflection at some point?
Ref: 2000.01.x.08.03
Written answer
8
4
Would you advise to do the Re-dedication wish, to develop the Paramis as much as I can so I can be of most benefit for myself and others, in the beginning of every meditation in the daily practice?
Ref: 2000.01.x.08.04
Written answer
- Equanimity
- Paramis
8
5
First thoughts come up that the retreat will end soon, then emotions of sadness, the mind already starts to make plans for the next retreat, at least 20 days, or better three months. Is there a harmful attachment to retreats? And what are it's indications?
Ref: 2000.01.x.08.05
Written answer
8
6
When I decide to meditate every day, one hour in the morning and one hour in the evening, how much time should I use the Reflection, awareness of the breathing or body, standing, walking meditation. For example, 70% Reflection, 30% awareness of the breathing?
Ref: 2000.01.x.08.06
Written answer
8
7
How can I find out that my practice is in balance?
Ref: 2000.01.x.08.07
Written answer
8
8
Do you have any suggestions about where I could hang out if I become fully enlightened in this lifetime? I thought that perhaps I could start by spending the winters at Wat Kow Tahm, roaming from beach to beach in the afternoons, talking to hung over tourists about Dukkha and unpleasant physical sensations.
Ref: 2000.01.x.08.08
Written answer
- Buddha
- Dukkha
8
9
Sometimes while observing physical sensations in the body in a formal posture, as well as lying down to sleep, I have experienced a jolt in the body as if I were shot by an electrical current. I've learnt to become equanimous, just noting and bringing awareness back through the body, but still this equanimous mind remains curious about this phenomena. Any insight?
Ref: 2000.01.x.08.09
Written answer
8
10
Is there a technique to prevent ourselves from creating self-images?
Ref: 2000.01.x.08.10
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Day
Index
Question
2
1
When we talk about a close spiritual friend, is that specifically a Buddhist meditator friend, or can it be a friend who's simply trying to cultivate themselves spiritually, whatever the tradition? That is, spending time with people actively involved with spiritual development and compassion but from a Christian perspective.
Ref: 2001.07.x.02.01
Written answer
2
2
Saddha is somewhat paradoxical in that in one sense it is a gift which we can't obtain by merely wanting to, and in another sense it is a virtue which can be cultivated. Question: what do you think of this aspect of the practice and how can we work with paradoxes in the path of purification? Example, it is the truth that liberates, not our effort to be free.
Ref: 2001.07.x.02.02
Written answer
2
3
I forgot the 4 couples of the eight worldly dhammas, pleasure and pain, fame and obscurity, gain and loss,...?
Ref: 2001.07.x.02.03
Written answer
- Eight worldly dhammas
- Pain
2
4
Can you please give more advice on the need to be important and the fear of being obscure?
Ref: 2001.07.x.02.04
Written answer
2
5
I think about two topics that I found in the Scriptures for a really long time, I don't understand how to bring them together. It seems to me they are opposites. There is no separate self, Atman, nothing permanent in me, no "I" that will be reborn. That was number one. Number two, there is the law of Kamma, that means if I act beneficial, I will receive beneficial results, if I act unbeneficial I will receive unbeneficial results. So if there's no continual "I," who will receive the results of the actions I have done in this life after I died? Will I receive all results in this life?
Ref: 2001.07.x.02.05
Written answer
2
6
Could you please talk about the balance between Compassion, Morality and Idealism. For example, for long distance travels taking a plane and not a train, although it causes much more pollution. Or buying items produced in other countries because you find them better or like them more.
Ref: 2001.07.x.02.06
Written answer
6
1
How can I strengthen the Resolution or Determination Parami?
Ref: 2001.07.x.06.01
Written answer
6
2
Could you please talk about the benefits of standing meditation?
Ref: 2001.07.x.06.02
Written answer
6
3
In some Buddhist countries, there are certain important holidays and events, which people have told me mean that doing good, making merit on those days, perhaps by visiting and donating to monks, is 100x more valuable than doing it on ordinary days. I experience doubt when I hear these things. Are there certain times when it's more valuable to make merit or meditate?
Ref: 2001.07.x.06.03
Written answer
6
4
Some teachers claim that true deep understanding does not come from thinking about things and using thought, but instead only comes from dropping thought and looking deeply into things with awareness. These teachers say that only when we are free of the thinking mind, then true Wisdom can be understood, never with our thoughts. Can you comment on this in relation to the practice here? Thank you.
Ref: 2001.07.x.06.04
Written answer
6
5
Can you please talk more about doubt manifesting as feeling stuck and indecisive and having to move forward through it. Thanks.
Ref: 2001.07.x.06.05
Written answer
6
6
Can you talk about the Truthfulness Parami?
Ref: 2001.07.x.06.06
Written answer
7
1
Could you please discuss any techniques which are helpful for using with chronic pain and illness? Thank you.
Ref: 2001.07.x.07.01
Written answer
7
2
Could you talk more in detail about being objective with difficult emotions, while also being open to learning about the true causes of those emotions, so they arise less in the future?
Ref: 2001.07.x.07.02
Written answer
7
3
Could you please talk about Forgiveness in the practice and in relationships with others?
Ref: 2001.07.x.07.03
Written answer
7
4
There are the Seven Factors of Enlightenment, the Ten Paramis, and the Noble Eightfold Path with a bit of overlap, similarities and differences. Can you please give advice on what to develop first or how to deal with these separate qualities?
Ref: 2001.07.x.07.04
Written answer
9
1
Are there many enlightened people alive today that you are aware of, and how would you recognize an enlightened person? Thank you.
Ref: 2001.07.x.09.01
Written answer
- Precepts
9
2
A few days ago you answered a question concerning Idealism and Morality. The example of the question was using a train instead of a plane because of pollution. In the answer you said something like you can't stop the circle of Samsara. Could you please say more about that?
Ref: 2001.07.x.09.02
Written answer
9
3
To use other words for ignorance, could you say our attachment to the eight worldly dhammas?
Ref: 2001.07.x.09.03
Written answer
- Eight worldly dhammas
- Attachment
9
4
There's a term for the gap that exists between our deepest beliefs and our daily behavior, it's called self-hatred. Could you please talk about self-hatred and how to bend the energy towards self-respect?
Ref: 2001.07.x.09.04
Written answer
9
5
I got to know physically handicapped people with a very negative opinion or attitude towards Buddhism, because Buddhism tells them that they are guilty or responsible for their handicap because of bad actions in a past life. What can I do in such a situation in order not to increase the negative attitude?
Ref: 2001.07.x.09.05
Written answer
9
6
Can you talk more about doubt, not doubts about Dhamma or the practice, but doubt as it appears in decision making in life? Sometimes it can be so strong and cause much anxiety, wavering and confusion in the mind. It is hard to make decisions without stress in these cases. How can we de-condition this tendency, particularly if we don't have a Kalyanamitta around?
Ref: 2001.07.x.09.06
Written answer
9
7
I have trouble thinking of situations where receiving of the eight worldly dhammas doesn't really matter. Can you talk about this and give some examples?
Ref: 2001.07.x.09.07
Written answer
- Eight worldly dhammas
9
8
Could you please explain what it means to be a Buddhist? How does one really know if they're a Buddhist or not? Is there a ceremony to do or something?
Ref: 2001.07.x.09.08
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2002

Day
Index
Question
2
1
Last night you talked about a dedication of intention and the Buddha's vow to perfect the Paramis and become a Buddha. Could you speak more about the Bodhisattva tradition in Theravadin Buddhism? When we make our dedication of intention, is it the intention to not only become enlightened, but to perfect the Paramis and become Bodhisattvas as well?
Ref: 2002.01.x.02.01
Written answer
- Bodhisattvas
- Muan Pra Podhisat
2
2
How does one work skillfully with regret, that is, both past regrets, and fear of having regrets in the future?
Ref: 2002.01.x.02.02
Written answer
2
3
I've heard many times that Buddhism is a philosophy of living. It is not based on dogma and is not a religion. The Buddha asked people even to question these teachings with an open mind, asking is it beneficial, caring, etc. There is even the Kalama Sutta which speaks of this. At the same time, I'm reluctant to question or doubt with some people as I feel they consider this very disrespectful to the Buddha. They hold the Buddha's teaching with such reverence and devotion, that I wonder if it's healthy, and are they limiting their learning ability?
Ref: 2002.01.x.02.03
Written answer
6
1
Can you please describe some of the ways in which Sympathetic Joy can help one with their reactions to blame?
Ref: 2002.01.x.06.01
Written answer
- Blame
- Sympathetic Joy
6
2
Can you please explain the difference between ignorance, unwise reaction and clinging within the cycle of Dependent Origination since they all are different causes for Dukkha but seem to be very similar or interrelated?
Ref: 2002.01.x.06.02
Written answer
6
3
What does it mean to have the Energy Parami perfected? Endless physical energy, endless mental energy?
Ref: 2002.01.x.06.03
Written answer
- Energy
6
4
How far can it be helpful to adopt qualities from a society with a Buddhist culture, for one's growth in the Dhamma? For example, humility, respect, simplicity. And when can it become a danger to suppress who and what we are?
Ref: 2002.01.x.06.04
Written answer
- Dhamma
- Suppression
6
5
Can you give any advice how to balance the restlessness that can be generated from the thinking process in reflection, and the investigative factor of the mind?
Ref: 2002.01.x.06.05
Written answer
- Reflection
- Restlessness
6
6
What specific practices, methods, are recommended to develop humbleness?
Ref: 2002.01.x.06.06
Written answer
- Humility
6
7
How can we work with Complacency in the practice? Being content that we are working pretty hard already, and not really wanting to increase our effort, and if we do up the effort, what can we do to keep from tuning our strings too tight?
Ref: 2002.01.x.06.07
Written answer
- Complacency
- Samvega
6
8
During the years of practice, I noticed a remarkable change in my self-image, self-perception. Parallel to this sometimes very unpleasant but also rewarding work, appeared a strong desire to build up a new kind of self-respect that is more in line with the nature of experiences and universal principles. Could you give some advice for that work, and also talk about Truthfulness?
Ref: 2002.01.x.06.08
Written answer
6
9
I once heard a teacher say that the Energy Parami and Effort are the same. Would you agree? Also can you suggest ways to work with the Energy Parami to make it grow?
Ref: 2002.01.x.06.09
Written answer
6
10
Is Idealism always harmful or dangerous in one's practice, or can it be sometimes that it helps to develop courage, energy, confidence and creativity for one's practice?
Ref: 2002.01.x.06.10
Written answer
- Complacency
- Idealism
7
1
How can one better use their observations of Dukkha for cultivation of Compassion, rather than turning to judgement? Example: I see a person who sees another person pull out a cigarette. From seeing that they are smoking then another person does the same and so on. I think to myself "look what you have done, you shouldn't smoke it because it causes others to smoke. Dukkha is spreading because of what you are doing". Is this judgement?
Ref: 2002.01.x.07.01
Written answer
7
2
Could you please tell the story about Kisagotami? When I reflect on the deaths of those I love, imagining their bodies perfectly still, I feel queasy and scared. Can you talk more about using the D/D method to help us accept death?
Ref: 2002.01.x.07.02
Written answer
7
3
Is it true that the Buddha did not talk very friendly or positive about women? If it is true, how is it explained that an enlightened person was talking in this way?
Ref: 2002.01.x.07.03
Written answer
7
4
When the World Trade Center was attacked I was shocked, grieved. I read the newspaper, bought magazines, trying to understand what had happened. I opened myself to the Dukkha of all people involved and by reading the news and stories it helped. However after a while I began to wonder, has my motivation shifted from trying to understand and having compassion, to sinking into the drama of it all? When we open our sense doors in order to see Dukkha, how can we know when it's time to shut them, when we have learned enough?
Ref: 2002.01.x.07.04
Written answer
7
5
Do you have any ideas where all the souls come from? The rebirth souls. There are 6 billion people on this planet, 100 years ago there was only 1 billion or less. I'm not sure about this number.
Ref: 2002.01.x.07.05
Written answer
- Rebirth
9
1
Moments of transition: before an interview, before the meals, before the ending of the retreat. Here I spend all this time trying to cultivate mindfulness, but when I really need it, I almost always lose it. What can we do to take care of these moments of transition?
Ref: 2002.01.x.09.01
Written answer
9
2
Wise Reflection, contemplation, you sometimes mention, is using the thought processes in a skilful way. As I look at my way of skilful reflection, there is indeed a certain amount of discursive thinking, by means of logic. On the other hand, there are times of deep reflection by using more an emotional, intuitive qualities of the heart for developing wisdom. Could you please talk about the different ways of wise reflection, and the role/function of citta/heart mind in this process.
Ref: 2002.01.x.09.02
Written answer
- Wise reflection
9
3
Could you talk about Right Livelihood? How do we develop this factor of the Noble Eightfold Path? What should we consider when it is time to go out and make some money?
Ref: 2002.01.x.09.03
Written answer
- Right Livelihood
9
4
How do you work with idealism towards others, expecting them at times to know and understand things that seem to have become clear to me? As well as disappointment, they are not able to understand and help themselves, and even want to help themselves.
Ref: 2002.01.x.09.04
Written answer
- Idealism
- Kamma
9
5
Can you give hints about how to develop more Equanimity?
Ref: 2002.01.x.09.05
Written answer
9
6
How do I work with the fear that sometimes arises when doing the Death reflection? That there is so much more left to be done, I am not ready for it yet.
Ref: 2002.01.x.09.06
Written answer
9
7
Due to not wanting to show others my weaknesses, I sometimes don't take the opportunity to ask questions, or seek the help of people who may be able to help me. How can I get over this tendency?
Ref: 2002.01.x.09.07
Written answer
- Questions
- Stupid
9
8
When others blame me for something I didn't even do, coming from believing another person's wrong perceptions of me, what do I do? Do I try to explain that it is not true, or just use Equanimity?
Ref: 2002.01.x.09.08
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2003

Day
Index
Question
2
1
Do Steve and Rosemary encourage their students to ordain as a Monk or a Nun?
Ref: 2003.01.x.02.01
Written answer
- Ordaining
2
2
I would like to be reminded of the definition list of Paramis.
Ref: 2003.01.x.02.02
Written answer
- Ten Paramis
2
3
Do meditators limit their practice by only visiting one teacher?
Ref: 2003.01.x.02.03
Written answer
- Paramis matching
- Teachers
2
4
Last night, the talk mentioned that the Question and Answer period would stimulate the inquiry side of meditators. Sometimes I am a blank. I have no questions, or I think of one, but feel I have probably heard the answer before. How do we stimulate the inquiry when the mind is in this blank state?
Ref: 2003.01.x.02.04
Written answer
2
5
If a person or any being is suffering very much, and there is no way to help or to cure, is it not a sort of Compassion to help to kill this being?
Ref: 2003.01.x.02.05
Written answer
2
6
Do you agree with the commentarial tradition statement that concentration is a proximate cause of wisdom, and that wisdom the manifestation of concentration?
Ref: 2003.01.x.02.06
Written answer
2
7
What can you suggest to cope with the feelings of guilt, for instance after inflicting mental Dukkha on someone else. This would have occurred through ignorance, not wrong intention. However, the guilty feeling remains strong.
Ref: 2003.01.x.02.07
Written answer
2
8
Is it OK to use the practice of "dedication of direction" in the walking meditation from time to time?
Ref: 2003.01.x.02.08
Written answer
2
9
I would like to hear your opinion to the question of violence. Is it not sometimes necessary to use violence, for eg. against brutal systems, people like Hitler, Saddam Hussein?
Ref: 2003.01.x.02.09
Written answer
6
1
The second part of the question that Steve didn't get to finish yesterday: "Could you also talk about how Mara manifests in our own practice and how to raise our awareness of his tricks?"
Ref: 2003.01.x.06.01
Written answer
6
2
I have a friend who has a baby girl with Down's syndrome, and his wife is pregnant with another baby. Now I hear he is going into the army reserves. It seems a mistake with all the family responsibilities to go into the reserves in these ways. He's most likely motivated by money. What do you do if you see a friend going in a direction you feel that is not beneficial, you want to protect them, but they haven't asked for it. What do you do?
Ref: 2003.01.x.06.02
Written answer
- Relationships
- To care and not to care
6
3
Can a meditator become enlightened by working on Patience alone? Is Compassion the key to growth in Patience?
Ref: 2003.01.x.06.03
Written answer
6
4
If we have caused suffering to another person, my understanding is that we can try to make good Kamma, but we can never escape the consequences, like the Buddha's right hand man who was murdered. We may wish to make amends, but what if we have no way of reaching that person, or they may not wish to be reached. Is there a particular technique we can do, and can it ever free us from the burden of bad Kamma from the past?
Ref: 2003.01.x.06.04
Written answer
6
5
Concerning the judging critical mind, could we say that we can only see in others what we have got for ourselves?
Ref: 2003.01.x.06.05
Written answer
6
6
I reflect on death often and have seen others dying. I know death will happen, but I don't honestly believe that I will die. Is complete and honest acceptance of death for the enlightened?
Ref: 2003.01.x.06.06
Written answer
6
7
It is very rare to be reborn as a human being, and even rarer during the period of time when the teachings of the Buddha are accessible. What can be done to be reborn during the lifetime of a future Buddha?
Ref: 2003.01.x.06.07
Written answer
6
8
I live in a house full of spiders. Millions of daddy long legs. I don't mind the spiders, but it's the cobwebs I have a problem with. I have tried brushing away the cobwebs and relocating the spiders, but this is a lost cause because of their numbers. At times I want to get the house sprayed, but then I feel ashamed at the thought of willingly killing beings so that I can have a clean ceiling.
Ref: 2003.01.x.06.08
Written answer
7
2
I have been working with balancing my strings, for example when I am too tight, trying to find reflections which help loosen up. Then when I have noticed that I have loosened up a bit being careful not to get too light. When I start to notice similar patterns do you think it would be helpful to reflect on Cause and Effect? If so, can this also be related to the Satipattana Sutta and in which way?
Ref: 2003.01.x.07.02
Written answer
7
3
When reflecting on death, in the back of my mind I feel reassurance that I will be reborn. Is this wrong thought, wanting to be reborn?
Ref: 2003.01.x.07.03
Written answer
- Death
- Rebirth
7
4
In the West, meditation is sometimes taught as a method of stress reduction or enhancing concentration without a connection to the Dhamma. Do you think this is OK to give people a first impression of the benefits of meditation and maybe arising interest in the Dhamma? Or is it respectless and may even be a cause of many wrong views about Buddhism?
Ref: 2003.01.x.07.04
Written answer
7
5
Can you remind me of the eight worldly dhammas? And what is the meaning of the word Dhamma?
Ref: 2003.01.x.07.05
Written answer
- Eight worldly dhammas
- Dhamma
7
6
During the seven reflections, is it important to use this particular order, or can I relate/combine impermanence with death?
Ref: 2003.01.x.07.06
Written answer
7
7
I have already generated Sympathetic Joy with my spiritual growth many times. Yet in my everyday life I often put other activities, such as my job or seeking pleasure, above my meditation practice. How can I generate more faith in the practice? What was it that motivated you to give up your beautiful farm in order to spend more time on the Dhamma?
Ref: 2003.01.x.07.07
Written answer
7
8
Sometimes one has to reject others if they ask for help, because you have to care about yourself, or other things. You can't be there for everybody all the time even if you have compassion. Or is this wrong?
Ref: 2003.01.x.07.08
Written answer
7
9
What does "verily" mean?
Ref: 2003.01.x.07.09
Written answer
- Verily
7
10
Is it OK, if I reflect for example on Dukkha and a wise thought about impermanence is coming up, to change the subject, or should I let go of this thought and go back to the reflection on Dukkha?
Ref: 2003.01.x.07.10
Written answer
- Dukkha
- Impermanence
7
11
Samadhi is a state which is emphasized in Theravadin Buddhism. What is it and how does one know when they have reached it?
Ref: 2003.01.x.07.11
Written answer
9
1
If you can think of any one personal anecdote or story from the teachings which has particularly inspired you to maintain your practice over the years, and which inspired you to begin your practice in the first place, I would love to hear it.
Ref: 2003.01.x.09.01
Written answer
9
2
Rosemary suggested three topics to reflect on to keep the determination strong in daily life, would you please repeat them and give any suggestions?
Ref: 2003.01.x.09.02
Written answer
9
3
When I see Dukkha, death, or the grief of another, my mind reflects, sends out a compassionate wish, and then thinks, "What's for lunch?" or a similar thing. There seems to be an aversion to letting things get too heavy, perhaps from the fear of getting upset and crying. In our daily life, how long should we reflect on Dukkha when we see it, and what should we do to make sure our reflections are balanced, not overly sad, nor overly indifferent.
Ref: 2003.01.x.09.03
Written answer
9
4
Could you please summarize the tools we have to develop and strengthen body awareness in daily life?
Ref: 2003.01.x.09.04
Written answer
9
5
With the Ten Paramis reflection you did the other morning, I got a little stuck on the words defining your direction. Would you be able to give an example of this reflection?
Ref: 2003.01.x.09.05
Written answer
- Ten Paramis
- Direction
9
6
I would like to know when we are ready to do a retreat on our own without a teacher, and what considerations we need if we want to do it. Can you talk about the benefits and dangers of doing a private retreat?
Ref: 2003.01.x.09.06
Written answer
9
7
A friend of my mother's is dying of cancer. I was thinking about writing a letter with some comforting and supporting words. Do you have any suggestions about what to write to someone in this situation? Someone with no background in the Dhamma? I think he may not be coping very well with the cancer, as he recently started renovations to his house that he lives in alone, which seems to be a future-orientated decision.
Ref: 2003.01.x.09.07
Written answer
- Cancer
- Sickness

Special Retreat Australia April 2003

Day
Index
Question
6
1
In my practice I've developed the habit of when a hindrance arises, first noting it, then noting which of the eight worldly conditions, worldly dhammas that I feel it has arisen from. Do you feel this is of benefit or am I overcomplicating the practice? For example, "desire", "pleasure."
Ref: 2003.04.x.06.01
Written answer
- Eight worldly dhammas
6
2
Thank you for your teachings on Compassion. I'm coming to realize that it's a central teaching of Buddhism. One thing that kept me from this, and may be an excuse for indifference, was the fear Compassion could be one step from pity, and two steps from indulgence, especially with middle class Dukkha, for example mild alcoholism, obesity, and stress. How to avoid taking these steps, when to be compassionate, and when to be firm?
Ref: 2003.04.x.06.02
Written answer
6
3
Please can you discuss the Parami of Morality and what we can do to increase it?
Ref: 2003.04.x.06.03
Written answer
6
4
In daily living, sometimes I feel exhausted by trying to be mindful, I feel engulfed by it. Am I putting much effort into mindfulness? I don't even feel very mindful with all the effort. If I watch a good movie mindfulness is easy!
Ref: 2003.04.x.06.04
Written answer
6
5
I have a friend who interprets and understands the meaning of dreams. What meaning if any are dreams given in Buddhism?
Ref: 2003.04.x.06.05
Written answer
- Dreams
6
6
Yesterday when I did the Paramis meditation, I wasn't sure how I could say I've grown in Energy, because as I age, I don't have as much energy as when I was young. Do you mean some other energy? Can you please explain?
Ref: 2003.04.x.06.06
Written answer
7
1
Would you please explain Right View? Thanks.
Ref: 2003.04.x.07.01
Written answer
7
2
My legs sometimes cramp up or go to sleep. I sit cross-legged usually, occasionally flat or Burmese. How best to overcome this? This often coincides with sleepiness in the whole body. Any ideas what that should be?
Ref: 2003.04.x.07.02
Written answer
- Legs going to sleep
7
3
Relationships between people of widely different ages seem to have a very bad press, "robbing the cradle," etc. Morally why should this be so, if both people are on a similar life path?
Ref: 2003.04.x.07.03
Written answer
- Relationships
7
4
We are continually reading about how the AIDS virus is decimating the population of Africa. We feel the utmost Compassion for them as they probably do not have the medical help to aid them. But how would we be able to combat our anger and despair if a loved one contracted the disease when they had been given contaminated blood during a supposedly life-saving blood transfusion, or as we read so often, the policeman contracts it doing his duty.
Ref: 2003.04.x.07.04
Written answer
7
5
Why can't I maintain a reasonable level of practice at home? I don't have that many distractions!
Ref: 2003.04.x.07.05
Written answer
7
6
I'm concerned that as I grow old (wif), I may become senile and not have a clear mind to continue meditating and face death properly. Can you please discuss?
Ref: 2003.04.x.07.06
Written answer
9
1
Blind faith: does Buddhism have as much as other religions?
Ref: 2003.04.x.09.01
Written answer
9
2
I use reflection on the Ten Paramis, especially Generosity and Sympathetic Joy, as confidence building techniques. Can you suggest any reflections or any other ways of reflecting on them that will aid in this process?
Ref: 2003.04.x.09.02
Written answer
9
3
When my mind is busy I spend a lot of time making it calm by being mindful. When it's calm and empty I note, "empty, empty", for only half an hour and then it's, "bored, bored". Then I want to think again for entertainment. Why is this?
Ref: 2003.04.x.09.03
Written answer
- Calm
- Insight
9
4
Why do I spend so much time on negativity, when I am in charge, choosing. Why do I not always choose more uplifting subjects to think about?
Ref: 2003.04.x.09.04
Written answer
- Ignorance
- Mara
9
5
It is skilful or unskillful to kill an animal to put it out of its misery, if it is already fatally wounded? What if a person asks you to help them kill themselves for the same reason?
Ref: 2003.04.x.09.05
Written answer
- Killing
9
6
Is the order of the Ten Paramis important?
Ref: 2003.04.x.09.06
Written answer
- Ten Paramis
9
7
From a Buddhist point of view, how much are we like our parents? The older I get the more I see my mother in me. At times I hear her when I speak, I see her in how I act and react. I like my mum, she's a good person, but I don't want to be like my mum. At times I feel aversion that I can see her in me, at other times I'm just surprised, because as an adult I don't really spend that much time with her.
Ref: 2003.04.x.09.07
Written answer
- Influences
- Parents
9
8
A walking track, too hot or too cold, boredom, unfriendliness and even minor pain; I tend to move on directly. Why should I stay?
Ref: 2003.04.x.09.08
Written answer
- Ten Paramis
- Dukkha
9
9
Living in the bush, it's easy to clash with the locals. Digging earth, lighting a fire, even walking can cause loss of small life. On one occasion I found ten baby rats on my blanket, I moved them into the open, and at least a couple suffered before dying. Should I have just drowned them? In general, is not deliberately killing or being unmindfully careless enough for other creatures?
Ref: 2003.04.x.09.09
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2003

Day
Index
Question
2
1
In last night's talk Rosemary emphasized that we do this practice not only to help ourselves but also to help others. She also spoke about how our Buddha in a previous lifetime took the Bodhisattva vow. Why is it in Theravada Buddhism that we do not take the Bodhisattva vow out of the deepest Compassion for all living beings?
Ref: 2003.07.x.02.01
Written answer
2
2
Could you please express some of your thoughts about the following? His wisdom made the Buddha turn to Nibbana; through his Compassion he attained it. This is a commentary from the Theravadin scriptures.
Ref: 2003.07.x.02.02
Written answer
2
3
Could you please remind me of the tools of how to work with sleepiness?
Ref: 2003.07.x.02.03
Written answer
- Energizing types of reflections
- Sleepiness
2
4
Could you please talk more about the unselfish emotions? What are their benefits to the practice, how do we develop them more within ourselves?
Ref: 2003.07.x.02.04
Written answer
2
5
Could you please explain in what way it could be helpful to be proud of the Dhamma, and how we can nurture and develop this feeling?
Ref: 2003.07.x.02.05
Written answer
2
6
What is the relationship between Equanimity and Saddha?
Ref: 2003.07.x.02.06
Written answer
6
1
I heard that there is a kind of Buddha called something like "Pacceka Buddha" or "silent Buddha" meaning a Buddha who doesn't teach the Dhamma. Could you maybe explain this please?
Ref: 2003.07.x.06.01
Written answer
- Pacceka Buddha
- Silent Buddha
6
2
Could you please talk about how to deal with thoughts in the mind that want to control things in other people's behavior.
Ref: 2003.07.x.06.02
Written answer
6
3
I understand all the Paramis quite clearly except the Parami Energy.
Ref: 2003.07.x.06.03
Written answer
6
4
Could you please explain how I can distinguish [being] content from complacency in my meditation practice?
Ref: 2003.07.x.06.04
Written answer
6
5
Can the wish for health or freedom from danger, war, cruelty, etc. for beings in extreme living conditions be a part of the Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation, because they may experience such intense Dukkha which makes it impossible to develop methods or tools by themselves?
Ref: 2003.07.x.06.05
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness
- Dukkha
6
6
If we die the Kamma decides in which realm we are reborn (I am going to rephrase that) When we die the Kamma decides in which realm we are reborn or how long we stay there. Does this mean if we are born in the god realms, we use up all our positive Kamma or are there qualities like the Paramis and Wisdom we keep in mind?
Ref: 2003.07.x.06.06
Written answer
6
7
How can we balance the D/D reflection with regards to pain? I seem to do a lot of this one in the sitting periods.
Ref: 2003.07.x.06.07
Written answer
6
8
I notice changes in the body, tension in the face, for example, sometimes when I am doing Reflective Meditation. What do you suggest I do at these times? Note it and return to the meditation subject? I notice this especially when I am doing Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation during the Compassion part and the Compassion I am feeling is quite strong.
Ref: 2003.07.x.06.08
Written answer
6
9
A rule of thumb in current environmental education theory in the West says no "doom and gloom" before 4th grade (9 and 10 years old). Can you please comment on this with respect to sharing the Dhamma with children?
Ref: 2003.07.x.06.09
Written answer
7
1
Is it okay to make up our own systematic reflections?
Ref: 2003.07.x.07.01
Written answer
7
2
Could you please give some advice/examples on how to transform, bend negative thoughts into wise ones formally and informally?
Ref: 2003.07.x.07.02
Written answer
7
3
How does Buddhism address the view of the theory of evolution? Is it simply an ongoing example of cause and effect?
Ref: 2003.07.x.07.03
Written answer
7
4
How would you describe the main characteristics of the mind-body process? Is it a uniting or polarity or both?
Ref: 2003.07.x.07.04
Written answer
- Anatta
- Dependent arising
7
5
Could you please talk a bit more on how to differentiate meditation pain from real actual pain?
Ref: 2003.07.x.07.05
Written answer
7
6
Which way of starting the meditation period is more skilful? From wisdom to reach a state of calm or from calm to get to the wisdom side?
Ref: 2003.07.x.07.06
Written answer
7
7
Can you please tell me more about Truthfulness?
Ref: 2003.07.x.07.07
Written answer
9
1
Yesterday Steve talked about conditioning on the TV. For myself it's easy, I just don't look at TV. What can I do with my kids as they can't understand the reason not to look?
Ref: 2003.07.x.09.01
Written answer
- Kids
- Television
9
2
When we reflect on gain and loss, are we thinking mainly about material things? Or are we also considering our health, our states of mind, our family and friends, lives, etc?
Ref: 2003.07.x.09.02
Written answer
- Loss
- States of mind
9
3
Do you think it can be helpful to add more reflections to the five or seven reflections like topics or phrases so that they become 9 or 10 reflections that we can use regularly every day?
Ref: 2003.07.x.09.03
Written answer
- Reflection
9
4
Adoption versus having your own child: Is it selfish to want your child biologically when there are so many children already alive in this world without parents? Is bringing another being into existence just more Dukkha? Or is it an opportunity for another being to choose wise (hopefully) parents?
Ref: 2003.07.x.09.04
Written answer
9
5
Could you please talk about humility and the importance of balance, with confidence?
Ref: 2003.07.x.09.05
Written answer
9
6
Could you also explain in this context how to avoid a tendency to develop a liking towards obscurity?
Ref: 2003.07.x.09.06
Written answer
9
7
Can humility be one aspect of the Parami of Truthfulness?
Ref: 2003.07.x.09.07
Written answer
- Humility
- Truthfulness
9
8
Could you please explain why the last 27 hours of the retreat are very special?
Ref: 2003.07.x.09.08
Written answer
- 27 hours
9
9
How and when do you decide what you are going to reflect on in a formal sitting meditation apart from what you are doing regularly like taking refuge, dedication and so on?
Ref: 2003.07.x.09.09
Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2003

Singapore QA December 2003

Day
Index
Question
1
3
I am overactive by nature, and will fall asleep after closing my eyes for a few minutes. How to adhere to my meditation practice if I have that problem?
Ref: 2003.12.x.01.03
Written answer
1
7
What is wholesome Kamma and what is unwholesome Kamma? If we have past bad Kamma that is in our previous life, how do we lessen that in the present life?
Ref: 2003.12.x.01.07
Written answer
1
9
Does meditation reduce the production of stress hormones? Does it decrease blood pressure? Does it work to relieve stress?
Ref: 2003.12.x.01.09
Written answer
1
12
During meditation we have to put our expectations aside and do not worry about doing it right, because every meditation is the valuable part of a larger process of spiritual unfolding. If this is right, what is the purpose or the importance of having a spiritual teacher be our guide?
Ref: 2003.12.x.01.12
Written answer
- Teachers
1
13
In meditation, is there the same possibility of using too much energy? And is a dream journey and a meditation experience the same, or is meditation more passive?
Ref: 2003.12.x.01.13
Written answer
1
15
How do we ensure we're on the right track? That we are doing it better and better or that we are making progress? Are there any landmarks on this journey?
Ref: 2003.12.x.01.15
Written answer
- Ten Paramis
1
17
At times in meditation I experience this type of state that feels like sleep but it's not exactly sleep. What is it?
Ref: 2003.12.x.01.17
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Day
Index
Question
2
1
I have a friend whose father recently had a heart attack and is trying to recover, but is still in a serious condition. I know that my friend is struggling to find balance inside, and with making time to visit his father, spend time with his three children, his job and so on. To help him find balance, I know that the D/D method and the other tools taught here could help him greatly. He hasn't asked for my help but is usually open and respects my opinions. My questions are: When is it appropriate to share the Dhamma? Is it better to wait to be asked, or is it better to offer advice, techniques, when we see that this may lessen someone's Dukkha?
Ref: 2004.01.x.02.01
Written answer
2
2
Please, how can we be more compassionate to ourselves?
Ref: 2004.01.x.02.02
Written answer
2
3
What techniques are there for integrating great bursts of energy, sometimes alarming ones? Also, small ones that fall off and get lost in the shuffle.
Ref: 2004.01.x.02.03
Written answer
2
4
Does the letting go of future thoughts stop the cycle of dependent arising, or what else is needed?
Ref: 2004.01.x.02.04
Written answer
2
5
I still find myself struggling to eat moderately. How can I rebalance this drive to eat so much mindlessly?
Ref: 2004.01.x.02.05
Written answer
2
6
What else can I do, apart from the methods you have taught us so far during the retreat, in order to react towards growing tiredness and fatigue?
Ref: 2004.01.x.02.06
Written answer
2
7
How does the wisdom you hear/read about become wisdom of heart?
Ref: 2004.01.x.02.07
Written answer
- Noble Eightfold Path
- Wisdom
6
1
In your talks, appears the expression "the bliss of ignorance" and "resting in the not knowing". Could you please explain what you mean by this and what is the difference?
Ref: 2004.01.x.06.01
Written answer
6
2
Please can you explain what different levels there are between a human being like me, and a Buddha, fully enlightened, a Bodhisattva, and an Arahant?
Ref: 2004.01.x.06.02
Written answer
6
3
What helpful things can you say to someone who has severe depression if they are not Dhamma practitioners?
Ref: 2004.01.x.06.03
Written answer
6
4
Sometimes I feel guilty just for being alive. What could be the reason for such a thought? How to handle with this?
Ref: 2004.01.x.06.04
Written answer
6
5
If we hold to The Middle Way, is it not important to really enjoy the pleasures of life, such as delicious food, as long as we don't think enjoyment is the meaning of life?
Ref: 2004.01.x.06.05
Written answer
6
6
I still find it difficult to do the mental noting when I discover that my mind is gone. I just come back gently to the breath or the reflections knowing what is there but not always noting specifically what hindrance it is. Any advice?
Ref: 2004.01.x.06.06
Written answer
- Mental noting
- Resolution
6
7
Unsatisfactoriness is the usual way to think of Dukkha, but what is the closest English translation for it?
Ref: 2004.01.x.06.07
Written answer
- Dukkha
- Unsatisfactoriness
6
8
Can you please suggest ways to strengthen Equanimity, in particular related to the eight worldly dhammas? I have been able to use and strengthen equanimity in relationship to small events but I feel I am not ready for when big events might happen. For example loss of health, loss of a loved one, etc.
Ref: 2004.01.x.06.08
Written answer
6
9
So maybe I am a "double dummy" - DD. (that is a play on DD I think) Yet I clearly understand the terms and meanings of defuse and diffuse, what I am confused about is the process of using DD in my life? When? How? Step-by-step? And why? Would you be willing to offer some concrete specific examples?
Ref: 2004.01.x.06.09
Written answer
- D/D Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation
- Loneliness
6
10
What is the intention of using D/D? That is how can it support the growth and deepening of my practice?
Ref: 2004.01.x.06.10
Written answer
7
1
In the Paramis, does Resolution mean having resolve?
Ref: 2004.01.x.07.01
Written answer
7
2
If sickness comes from thought, is it possible to then getting ill by thinking, "may I be healthy and strong?"
Ref: 2004.01.x.07.02
Written answer
7
3
Where did the Buddha to be, the Bodhisattva, go to for refuge? How did he balance his wisdom with faith, confidence?
Ref: 2004.01.x.07.03
Written answer
7
4
How to reflect on the Seven Factors of Enlightenment?
Ref: 2004.01.x.07.04
Written answer
7
5
What are some of the ways being present in your body, as in standing and walking meditation, which can help you in your life?
Ref: 2004.01.x.07.05
Written answer
7
6
My reaction to intensive meditation retreats is my body goes bananas, giving me more discomfort than need be and my mind goes stupid. Does this happen to other people?
Ref: 2004.01.x.07.06
Written answer
- Mara
- Reaction
7
7
About lying, truthfulness, what is more important, being truthful to ourselves or being truthful to others?
Ref: 2004.01.x.07.07
Written answer
7
8
How to deal with fear, panic? That is being in a situation, you realize you can die at any moment. How can you reflect being in fear?
Ref: 2004.01.x.07.08
Written answer
7
9
How to get more joy from the practice? You have taught us the sympathetic joy reflection, there are sudden small understandings which also bring joy. Is there more we can do to find the practice more enjoyable?
Ref: 2004.01.x.07.09
Written answer
7
10
Please can you talk more about the relationship between Dukkha, Anicca, and Anatta?
Ref: 2004.01.x.07.10
Written answer
7
11
Am I correct in understanding that Dukkha includes severe suffering, such as starving to death, as well as a sore back or unfriendly spouse?
Ref: 2004.01.x.07.11
Written answer
- Dukkha
7
12
Please can you mention the Five Precepts and their importance?
Ref: 2004.01.x.07.12
Written answer
- Five Precepts
7
13
What about not harming but eating meat of animals that are suffering for our pleasure?
Ref: 2004.01.x.07.13
Written answer
- Farming
- Meat
9
1
Please did the venerable Buddha mention who else has a mind? If Animals, flowers, etc. Who else? Thank you.
Ref: 2004.01.x.09.01
Written answer
- Animals
- Plants
9
2
How did you find out about the September 11th attacks? What went through your mind? Did you use any Dhamma reflection at that time?
Ref: 2004.01.x.09.02
Written answer
- September 11th
9
3
Mindfulness has many benefits and can be used in many ways, but what is its main purpose?
Ref: 2004.01.x.09.03
Written answer
- Mindfulness
9
4
With walking meditation I have the choice to look 2 meters in front of me and keep my neck straight, but I can't see the ants I am stepping on. In order to avoid this killing I have to bend my neck and that cause me pain. What is the best thing to do?
Ref: 2004.01.x.09.04
Written answer
- Ants
- Walking meditation
9
5
Can you please explain how to work with tranquility at home?
Ref: 2004.01.x.09.05
Written answer
- Tranquility
9
6
I don't think any kind of war is able to solve problems in the long term. So, when I became liable to the military service I asked a medical doctor to give a slightly wrong expert opinion so I didn't have to serve in the army. Although that was a lie, I still feel that it was appropriate and beneficial, what do you think?
Ref: 2004.01.x.09.06
Written answer
- Military service
- War
9
7
How do we know the difference between contentment and complacency in the practice? And how can you work with complacency in our formal practice and in our daily life?
Ref: 2004.01.x.09.07
Written answer
9
8
Is there only one Bodhisattva at a time or are there many at the same time?
Ref: 2004.01.x.09.08
Written answer
- Bodhisattvas
9
9
What happened to the Buddha after his Parinibbana?
Ref: 2004.01.x.09.09
Written answer
- Buddha
- Questions
9
10
Do you mean by saying, "may I be free from Dukkha," basically to understand and practice Dhamma?
Ref: 2004.01.x.09.10
Written answer
- May I be free from Dukkha
9
11
How is it if someone dies during sleeping and doesn't have any thoughts, any ideas?
Ref: 2004.01.x.09.11
Written answer
- Death
- Kamma
9
12
I'm not a famous person, so in the reflection meditation about wanting fame, what is fame in the life of an average person?
Ref: 2004.01.x.09.12
Written answer
- Attention
- Fame
9
13
During the guided meditation about the eight worldly dhammas, I could not find any times that when I would rather have pain, when I feel I deserve to suffer in some way. What did you mean with that?
Ref: 2004.01.x.09.13
Written answer
- Eight worldly dhammas
- Suffer

Special Retreat Australia April 2004

Day
Index
Question
6
1
Are there any aspects of the Theravadin tradition which you consider to be cultural and not the Buddha Dhamma, and you have rejected as a result of your own investigation into the Dhamma?
Ref: 2004.04.x.06.01
Written answer
6
2
Competition? Good, bad or ugly?
Ref: 2004.04.x.06.02
Written answer
6
3
On the one hand we wish ourselves and others to be free of Dukkha, on the other hand we must see Dukkha in the world to progress in the practice, how to reconcile?
Ref: 2004.04.x.06.03
Written answer
- Four Noble Truths
- Dukkha
6
4
How can we grow in Renunciation?
Ref: 2004.04.x.06.04
Written answer
7
1
What is a good way to respond to someone who asks "What is Buddhism?", when that person has very little or probably the wrong idea?
Ref: 2004.04.x.07.01
Written answer
- What is Buddhism?
7
2
Being born stupid again is not one of my preferred options, nor is rebirth in hell. Murdering one's parents gains automatic entry, I'm safe there, but what else will gain us entry?
Ref: 2004.04.x.07.02
Written answer
7
3
I understand the technique how to separate the actions of tyrants and have compassion for them, but it is difficult to extend this to their children who are often worse than their parents. Does the same technique apply to them, too? This is very difficult.
Ref: 2004.04.x.07.03
Written answer
7
4
What do you think about visiting Bodh Gaya and Historical Religious Sites in the middle of Thailand? I'm thinking of the physical as well as the spiritual.
Ref: 2004.04.x.07.04
Written answer
7
5
Could you please discuss any techniques that are helpful with chronic pain and illnesses?
Ref: 2004.04.x.07.05
Written answer
7
6
I'm really impatient to gain that virtue, and what's the name of it, oh yes, patience. Please tell me how to gain it instantly!
Ref: 2004.04.x.07.06
Written answer
7
7
I try to plan for my future financial security, this is so I might be able to pursue my Dhamma path more fully, possibly work voluntarily and be secure if I live to an old age. How do you view this type of planning with regards to generosity and renunciation? It is having concern for the future which might not come, but then again it might?
Ref: 2004.04.x.07.07
Written answer
7
8
Oh, patience! Why is patience a Paramis, when, for example, concentration is not? And how do we grow in it?
Ref: 2004.04.x.07.08
Written answer
9
1
Are there any benefits to being Westerners with regards to Dhamma practice? I mean more from the mental and social conditioning point of view than the material advantages.
Ref: 2004.04.x.09.01
Written answer
9
2
On the topic of the Dhamma bank, isn't there a risk of thinking you have more than you do in the bank, and then when you go to make a big withdrawal, there's not enough in.
Ref: 2004.04.x.09.02
Written answer
- Dhamma bank
9
3
If I buy meat at the supermarket, that's creating a demand for meat. Am I not directly responsible for the killing of that animal?
Ref: 2004.04.x.09.03
Written answer
9
4
In our meditation sessions at home, are a few long sessions more useful than many short ones? What is the shortest useful period? Is five minutes any good or tending to devalue the practice?
Ref: 2004.04.x.09.04
Written answer
- Home
- Regular practice
9
5
It seems to me that there is more than one level to work on in order to let go of ignorance. Can you tell me more about it?
Ref: 2004.04.x.09.05
Written answer
- Ignorance
- Levels of practice

Special Retreat Germany September 2004

Day
Index
Question
6
1
How do we practice Right Speech in giving directions or instructions to people relating to how much or how little to explain something? And how to respect the person's abilities while trying to impart necessary information?
Ref: 2004.09.x.06.01
Written answer
6
2
Do you think that having in front of us a Buddha image will be helpful for the bowing practice?
Ref: 2004.09.x.06.02
Written answer
- Bowing
- Buddha statue
6
3
In last night's talk you were speaking about wrong thought, and you mentioned a kind of mind which "claims." Would you, please, explain in more detail what is a "claiming mind"?
Ref: 2004.09.x.06.03
Written answer
6
4
Kamma is intention. Would you please explain this statement by the Buddha in a little bit more depth?
Ref: 2004.09.x.06.04
Written answer
6
5
How do you deal with mass media, newspapers, TV, computers, internet etc. in your daily life? What would you suggest?
Ref: 2004.09.x.06.05
Written answer
6
6
How can statistics be used in Meditation?
Ref: 2004.09.x.06.06
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness
- Statistics
7
1
What about research, medical, biological, that takes lives in order to save more lives in the future?
Ref: 2004.09.x.07.01
Written answer
- Medical research
7
2
Can you, please, describe right punishment?
Ref: 2004.09.x.07.02
Written answer
7
3
Do you recommend walking meditation in everyday life?
Ref: 2004.09.x.07.03
Written answer
- Walking meditation
- Walking meditation in everyday life
7
4
Impermanence is the primary reason for Dukkha. Could you please expand on it especially with regards to wanting pleasure, fame, gain and praise to be permanent?
Ref: 2004.09.x.07.04
Written answer
7
5
Often I feel your methods to develop Compassion and Lovingkindness are not appropriate, and instead of Compassion, I develop depression, aversion, fear and worry. What is that? What am I not able to?
Ref: 2004.09.x.07.05
Written answer
7
6
In the back of my mind is the idea that acceptance is an alibi not to act and that acting is the main purpose of life. So what is acceptance actually? How to find a balance between acceptance and the necessity to act?
Ref: 2004.09.x.07.06
Written answer
7
7
How can we help our children strengthen the Ten Paramis?
Ref: 2004.09.x.07.07
Written answer
- Ten Paramis
- Children
7
8
Can you please speak about the eight worldly dhammas and suggest methods to help lessen the attachments to them?
Ref: 2004.09.x.07.08
Written answer
9
1
Is it that Compassion is a fuel for all the other Paramis?
Ref: 2004.09.x.09.01
Written answer
9
2
How could a moment of pure awareness be objective? Isn't the way that we see, hear and feel always colored by our perspective?
Ref: 2004.09.x.09.02
Written answer
- Objective
- Perspective
9
3
What kind of questions would you ask a teacher?
Ref: 2004.09.x.09.03
Written answer
9
4
Could you please explain renunciation?
Ref: 2004.09.x.09.04
Written answer
- Letting go
- Renunciation
9
5
Has every animal the same value? Has every human being the same value? Is killing the parents worse than another person?
Ref: 2004.09.x.09.05
Written answer
9
6
How can we take blame, whether deserved or undeserved, and take it less personally?
Ref: 2004.09.x.09.06
Written answer
9
7
Is there anything about the meaning of dreams written in the scriptures?
Ref: 2004.09.x.09.07
Written answer
- Auspicious dreams
- Dreams
9
8
What are the benefits of memorizing Suttas?
Ref: 2004.09.x.09.08
Written answer
- Memorizing Suttas
- Suttas

Special Retreat Thailand January 2005

Day
Index
Question
2
1
How do we investigate deeper into the causes of our own Dukkha?
Ref: 2005.01.x.02.01
Written answer
2
2
Could you please explain investigation into mental objects?
Ref: 2005.01.x.02.02
Written answer
2
3
In the reclining Buddha hall are statues in various postures. Could you please explain the following ones: He is standing with both arms down, palms open to the front. Standing with both hands crossing over his chest.
Ref: 2005.01.x.02.03
Written answer
2
4
I have difficulty always thinking about how fortunate I am. I have been doing it all of my life. My sister was sick all her life. My brother is a 100% disabled war veteran. My daughter was sexually abused. My son has been fighting melanoma for fifteen years. I have no great misfortune. I'll work on my survivor guilt this retreat. Any suggestions beyond Lovingkindness for myself?
Ref: 2005.01.x.02.04
Written answer
2
5
In the Jewish religion they have the saying, one who saves one life saves the whole world. What do you think about this?
Ref: 2005.01.x.02.05
Written answer
- Jewish saying
2
6
Facing the reactions of other people, I see a pretty big deal of fear of blame involved. Especially concerning my hesitation to tell you about meditators who don't follow all the rules here, how can I work with these things?
Ref: 2005.01.x.02.06
Written answer
2
7
I face challenges with structuring my life around the meditation practice. How can I resolve to become more strict regarding this?
Ref: 2005.01.x.02.07
Written answer
2
8
Can you give me further instruction regarding the food reflection please?
Ref: 2005.01.x.02.08
Written answer
6
1
I believe Steve said it was ok to be judgmental and critical if a person was harming a dog, for example. I don't understand how that helps anyone. Can stopping the behavior be done without criticism and judgment?
Ref: 2005.01.x.06.01
Written answer
6
2
How can I develop the ability to ask beneficial questions of myself and others?
Ref: 2005.01.x.06.02
Written answer
- Asking beneficial questions
6
3
Desire and interest are very closely related. I would not be wrong to long for or desire Enlightenment. It is sometimes hard to distinguish the good desire from the bad.
Ref: 2005.01.x.06.03
Written answer
6
4
I have a strong aversion to Muslim people. What can I do about that?
Ref: 2005.01.x.06.04
Written answer
- Aversion
- Muslims
6
5
As I have practiced over the years I find it hard to remember how it was to be a new meditator and at times what it was like to not be a meditator. I'm grateful about the development but want to guard against conceit or taking the practice or Wat Kow Tahm for granted. Any suggestions?
Ref: 2005.01.x.06.05
Written answer
6
6
Are there any more ways in Buddhism to open the heart or is there only Compassion and Lovingkindness. Please comment.
Ref: 2005.01.x.06.06
Written answer
6
7
What's the difference between Sympathetic Joy and Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation?
Ref: 2005.01.x.06.07
Written answer
- Sympathetic Joy
6
9
When we make a Compassion/Lovingkindness wish for starving people should we not wish for them to get food instead of wishing for their mental Dukkha to go away?
Ref: 2005.01.x.06.09
Written answer
- Starving people
6
10
How can we have Compassion for people who cause difficulties but who perhaps don't even realize it? For example, playing loud music. Or should we have Compassion instead for ourselves?
Ref: 2005.01.x.06.10
Written answer
- Compassion
- Loud music
6
11
My partner and I were working in the West. He is a teacher. One day we talked about one of his female students (who is married), and during that conversation I had the thought, "I could be jealous now". I saw the pain of jealousy moving quickly into my heart. Our relationship is very good and I know that I have no reasons for fear here and I was able to balance this jealousy immediately. It felt like my mind was reaching out for some entertainment. Could you please talk about this reaching out?
Ref: 2005.01.x.06.11
Written answer
6
12
Are there dancing Buddhas around? Like the dancing Shiva? Didn't the Buddha like to dance?
Ref: 2005.01.x.06.12
Written answer
- Dancing Buddhas
6
13
When I go back home, I'm surrounded by people with wrong views and wrong actions. How can I avoid: a) feeling superior, b) feeling depressed, or c) getting influenced by their behavior?
Ref: 2005.01.x.06.13
Written answer
6
14
In the Buddha's time, Arahants seem to have sprung up on every street corner. How come so few people become enlightened today, presumably using the same methods?
Ref: 2005.01.x.06.14
Written answer
6
15
Would it not be considered selfish if one's good views were primarily intended for one's own merit, instead of developing one of the Paramis?
Ref: 2005.01.x.06.15
Written answer
6
16
My family is Christian so I cannot put a Buddha image in the house. How can I practice bowing? Can I bow mentally?
Ref: 2005.01.x.06.16
Written answer
- Bowing
- Buddha image
7
1
What are the Seven Suitable Conditions.
Ref: 2005.01.x.07.01
Written answer
- Seven Suitable Conditions
7
2
What is covered by the Morality Parami. Could you please talk a little bit about this?
Ref: 2005.01.x.07.02
Written answer
7
3
Is it possible to raise a child in the Dhamma in the West?
Ref: 2005.01.x.07.03
Written answer
- Children
7
4
I often feel the need to leave my town in Germany because everything that I learn here seems not to be important to the people I work with and live with in Berlin. There's so little space there for Compassion and Lovingkindness. Should I take that crazy city as just another challenge to work with, or just be truthful, resolute and leave Berlin? Do you have a job for me? I'm pretty good at sweeping leaves!
Ref: 2005.01.x.07.04
Written answer
- Suitable conditions
- Work
7
5
How can we improve our Resolution?
Ref: 2005.01.x.07.05
Written answer
7
6
We have learned different types of Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation here. Please explain, in which life situation should we use which type of Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation?.
Ref: 2005.01.x.07.06
Written answer
9
1
Why do you include "I'm sorry" as part of your three magic words?
Ref: 2005.01.x.09.01
Written answer
- I'm sorry
9
2
The Buddha says to go the Middle Way. What about Renunciation, how can it be balanced?
Ref: 2005.01.x.09.02
Written answer
- Middle Way
- Renunciation
9
3
During a one-hour formal meditation section, is it ok to expand more than one reflection?
Ref: 2005.01.x.09.03
Written answer
- Five Reflections
9
4
What is the opinion in Theravadin Buddhism about music and art? Can art and music help to lessen suffering?
Ref: 2005.01.x.09.04
Written answer
- Art and Music
- Music and Art
9
5
How long should we wait between doing retreats at Wat Kow Tahm? Of course enough time to practice the methods and techniques we've learned here. What do you recommend?
Ref: 2005.01.x.09.05
Written answer
- Retreats
9
6
What single reflection do you think has given you the most benefit?
Ref: 2005.01.x.09.06
Written answer
- Reflections
9
7
Is honesty part of truthfulness? Why are so few people honest today?
Ref: 2005.01.x.09.07
Written answer
- Honesty
- Truthfulness
9
8
Is the intention the most important thing for developing the Paramis?
Ref: 2005.01.x.09.08
Written answer
- Intention
9
9
I appreciate the hands on, practical practice you teach. However Steve responded to a question about no self by saying not to concern ourselves with theoretical Buddhism. Isn't no self an actual experience? Isn't it an experience of ourselves as a process rather than a self? Isn't it impermanent? And isn't the experience helpful in the practice of letting go of me, mine as well as the Dukkha of attachment. And isn't it one of the central teachings of Buddhism, so why did Steve say not to bother with it?
Ref: 2005.01.x.09.09
Written answer
9
10
Could you please talk about disappointment? Thank you.
Ref: 2005.01.x.09.10
Written answer
9
11
Avoiding pain and seeking pleasurable experiences sounds natural. Can you talk a little about this?
Ref: 2005.01.x.09.11
Written answer
- Mixture of pleasure and pain
- Pleasure and pain
9
12
Is giving more than your have, for example donating money for the Tsunami victims, an act of Generosity of craziness?
Ref: 2005.01.x.09.12
Written answer
- Generosity
9
13
How do I recognize and avoid unskillful justification when I do something unbeneficial?
Ref: 2005.01.x.09.13
Written answer
- Unskillful justification

Singapore QA January 2005

Day
Index
Question
1
1
What if you meditate and thoughts keep coming through even though you are patient and keep coming back to the breathing?
Ref: 2005.02.x.01.01
Written answer
1
3
Can you share with us your meditation experiences? What you visualize and what you consider a good meditation session?
Ref: 2005.02.x.01.03
Written answer
1
6
What personal benefits or changes in your life have you personally experienced from meditation?
Ref: 2005.02.x.01.06
Written answer
1
8
What is the best way to start a meditation other than three breaths to relax?
Ref: 2005.02.x.01.08
Written answer
- One breath at a time
- Relax

Special Retreat Australia April 2005

Day
Index
Question
6
1
It is easier to be compassionate for people far away. A friend of mine moved into a Lebanese community in Bankstown. She did not know this. There was constant fighting and women were kept in their place. Windows got smashed. My friend's car got trashed. Her husband and child never went out after dark and many other unpleasant things. I heard myself say in my head 'I wish those Lebies would pack up and go home'. PS I know a fabulous Lebanese Muslim family down the street from me.
Ref: 2005.04.x.06.01
Written answer
6
2
Is the order of the Paramis important?
Ref: 2005.04.x.06.02
Written answer
- Paramis
6
3
Can we work on all the Paramis at the same time or should we focus on a few?
Ref: 2005.04.x.06.03
Written answer
- Paramis
6
4
In the guided meditation concerning the Ten Paramis I have trouble with the reflection on Energy. The others are more obvious, but having always been an energetic person both pre- and post-Dhamma I'm not sure of what exactly to take note of, or if there is any particular Dhamma Energy that I should recognize.
Ref: 2005.04.x.06.04
Written answer
6
5
What are some of the strengths and weaknesses of a personal silent retreat?
Ref: 2005.04.x.06.05
Written answer
- Personal silent retreat
6
6
Your pronunciation of words such as Buddha and Dukkha differs from what I have heard elsewhere.
Ref: 2005.04.x.06.06
Written answer
- Pali
6
7
Is yielding to sense pleasures OK as long as one notes it?
Ref: 2005.04.x.06.07
Written answer
6
8
Why do we do walking meditation? Why don't we just sit?
Ref: 2005.04.x.06.08
Written answer
- Walking meditation
6
9
Is it praise when someone tells me I helped them solve a problem? And why shouldn't I feel joy with him or her about that?
Ref: 2005.04.x.06.09
Written answer
- Joy
- Praise
6
10
Please could you explain the five powers of mind and how they relate to each other in the practice.
Ref: 2005.04.x.06.10
Written answer
- Five Spiritual Powers
6
11
Could you please try to explain how to reflect on the confidence-inspiring objects like the Buddha? Are there more of these objects?
Ref: 2005.04.x.06.11
Written answer
6
12
When I try to fall asleep I am recently very restless. How can I work with that restlessness?
Ref: 2005.04.x.06.12
Written answer
- Restlessness
- Sleep
7
1
I can't seem to snap out of sleep. When my meditation gets dozy, it's like I've slid into a deep pit and my attempts to climb out are feeble and weak. Any ideas?
Ref: 2005.04.x.07.01
Written answer
- Energy
- Sleepiness
7
2
My compassion has a long way to go. On hearing a barking dog or a noisy engine my first reaction is usually anger and a desire to fix it. Only later and often through clenched teeth can I arise compassion.
Ref: 2005.04.x.07.02
Written answer
7
3
Sometimes I listen to the sound of my breath in my head as a calming technique. Other times I force the in and out movement of my abdomen for about ten times. I find this can help me settle into the sitting sessions. This technique helps my concentration. Comment please.
Ref: 2005.04.x.07.03
Written answer
- Concentration
7
4
Is Truthfulness more than not talking lies?
Ref: 2005.04.x.07.04
Written answer
- Truthfulness
7
5
Does the Theravadin tradition have any overseeing authority that has powers to make alterations in accordance with changing times?
Ref: 2005.04.x.07.05
Written answer
7
6
Other writings on the Dhamma I have read listed consciousness last in the list of Five Aggregates, while you list it second, can you please explain why you differ?
Ref: 2005.04.x.07.06
Written answer
- Five Aggregates
- Dependent origination
7
7
Steve said that some of his students memorize the Suttas and my worry was that I might get so concerned with my head that I might trip on something, you know, I wouldn't be mindful.
Ref: 2005.04.x.07.07
Written answer
7
8
If the Four Foundations of Mindfulness is in "this handful of leaves", what are some of the others that go in this handful?
Ref: 2005.04.x.07.08
Written answer
- Handful of leaves
- Noble Eightfold Path
9
1
What does Sadhu, Sahdu, Sahdu mean and why is it written next to the names of donors?
Ref: 2005.04.x.09.01
Written answer
9
2
I live in a small community and I find that I seek some obscurity with regards to Buddhism. It is known by many that I practice and I am not in the closet with it, but I find that I resent the projections of many people who seem to think that Buddhism is something like Christian evangelism. Some people tried to question my ethics in order to make me look hypocritical even though I've never made an overt statement to them about my ethics. I'm also uncomfortable when a Tibetan Buddhist friend of mine, makes proud references to our friendship and to my Dhamma practice at our work place. Is this an unhealthy obscurity that I seek?
Ref: 2005.04.x.09.02
Written answer
9
3
Morality, does it change according to societies' values?
Ref: 2005.04.x.09.03
Written answer
- Morality
9
4
I've read that in the early days of Buddhism, images were discouraged and the wheel of Dhamma was adopted as a symbol. This was to avoid Buddhism turning into a personality cult. However, now the opposite seems true. Please comment.
Ref: 2005.04.x.09.04
Written answer
- Buddha statue
- Confidence-inspiring objects
9
5
How can I help lessen my attachment to obscurity?
Ref: 2005.04.x.09.05
Written answer
- Obscurity

Special Retreat Thailand July 2005

Day
Index
Question
2
1
Why do some meditators sweat a lot during the standing meditation? Standing still seems to produce more sweat compared to walking back and forth. Is more energy required to stand still compared to walking back and forth?
Ref: 2005.07.x.02.01
Written answer
- Energy
- Standing meditation
2
2
To help me recognize self-pity more easily could you please give some examples of behaviors which shows self-pity? Could you also please give some antidotes to self-pity?
Ref: 2005.07.x.02.02
Written answer
2
3
I've heard that being in nature is better for the growth in the Dhamma as opposed to living in a more urban setting. What are the reasons for this and what do you suggest we do when we live in a more urban setting?
Ref: 2005.07.x.02.03
Written answer
2
4
Please could you say something about how to overcome self-doubt?
Ref: 2005.07.x.02.04
Written answer
2
5
Can you talk more about how idealism manifests in the practice and it's relationship with self-pity and self-hatred? I understand that excessive idealism can be the cause of self-pity. What are some other causes of self-pity?
Ref: 2005.07.x.02.05
Written answer
2
6
Would you like to explain something about laughter? It relaxes me, but I wonder if it is beneficial or not. Is it a letting go or an escape from reality by releasing energy or something else? There seems to be little mindfulness in it but I can't find attachment or negativity in it either. And how about smiling?
Ref: 2005.07.x.02.06
Written answer
2
7
What are Devas? Are Devas heavenly beings able to visit this world? Do you know any interesting stories regarding Devas during the Buddha's life?
Ref: 2005.07.x.02.07
Written answer
2
8
Could you please explain the difference between Right View and Right Thought and how they work together?
Ref: 2005.07.x.02.08
Written answer
2
9
What does the statement, "You do not have enough Compassion for yourself" mean. Can you please give some examples?
Ref: 2005.07.x.02.09
Written answer
- Compassion
- Dukkha
2
10
In which way can the letting go of ignorance be reached?
Ref: 2005.07.x.02.10
Written answer
6
1
Can you talk about how to guard against falling into robot-like mindfulness? Where the mind seems dull even though it seems mindfulness has been practiced?
Ref: 2005.07.x.06.01
Written answer
6
2
Confidence and contentment seem to be great helpers in our training. Can you please say a few words about that and give me some advice on how I can use reflection on my past actions and my virtue in a more effective way in my everyday life.
Ref: 2005.07.x.06.02
Written answer
6
3
Last night's guided meditation was very interesting. In two of the situations I found I could feel compassion but no sympathy - the rich guy and the family with three kids. They both have more than most people. The rich guy has the time and means to look for happiness. There are plenty of books to get started on and the family will have all the time they want when the three kids are at university to relax and look for happiness What in your opinion is the difference between compassion and sympathy?
Ref: 2005.07.x.06.03
Written answer
6
4
Why does the belief in God hinder enlightenment?
Ref: 2005.07.x.06.04
Written answer
6
5
The ideal of equanimity can lead to some people repressing their feelings. Please comment.
Ref: 2005.07.x.06.05
Written answer
- Equanimity
- Repressing feelings
6
6
In Buddhism there are many planes of existence. Please could you explain a little bit about them, the lower as well as the higher ones, and explain how they interact with the human plane.
Ref: 2005.07.x.06.06
Written answer
6
7
Please can you give us some hints about how to balance compassion so that Dukkha in the world does not overwhelm us?
Ref: 2005.07.x.06.07
Written answer
6
8
Can you please talk about group Kamma and how it relates to this group and to the people who were involved in the Tsunami?
Ref: 2005.07.x.06.08
Written answer
6
10
Can you talk about how to keep our mindfulness and reflections going during the break, while having a rest at the same time?
Ref: 2005.07.x.06.10
Written answer
6
11
I've never played lottery. Now if there was a large amount of money in the pot, would it be bad Kamma to play and participate in a gambling thing with the intention that if I won I would donate much of the money?
Ref: 2005.07.x.06.11
Written answer
- Gambling
- Lottery
7
1
Please can you give some recent examples of people who have overcome big Dukkha?
Ref: 2005.07.x.07.01
Written answer
- Cancer
- Overcome big Dukkha
7
2
In situations of stress, I sometimes channel my frustration onto my partner, through blaming them and they react in similar ways. I also heard other people describing this. Could you please talk about this?
Ref: 2005.07.x.07.02
Written answer
7
3
Sometimes I can be very indecisive. Even over small things that don't really matter. Usually I don't really feel strongly either way, there are pros and cons on both sides, Paramis to be developed either way, yet I find it hard to commit. This wavering and doubt in the mind is uncomfortable. How can I more quickly find a solution that is right for me and best all around?
Ref: 2005.07.x.07.03
Written answer
7
4
Remember the person who didn't play by the Monopoly rules. How do we tell this person that we are not interested? We do not want to be with them any more? Especially when they are a good old friend?
Ref: 2005.07.x.07.04
Written answer
7
5
In last night's meditation, the subject was the importance of balancing compassion with equanimity. I understand compassion to be kind of a sympathy for someone's Dukkha, and a wish for the end of that Dukkha. I understand equanimity to be a balanced and unexcited mind. But I don't understand the phrase "the importance of balancing compassion with equanimity." Please explain.
Ref: 2005.07.x.07.05
Written answer
7
6
Can you please talk about praise and blame, when not to use them?
Ref: 2005.07.x.07.06
Written answer
7
7
Sometimes when I sit down to meditate, I don't know which meditation to choose. There are so many different reflections, and unless I have an obvious mental state that needs addressing, any would be beneficial. This indecision can often bring on mental sluggishness if I'm not wary. The Five Reflections short version can stretch on longer and longer as I delay figuring out meditating. Do you have any tips on this?
Ref: 2005.07.x.07.07
Written answer
7
8
It has been explained that when we bow to the Buddha statue we are not bowing to the chunk of shaped metal, but we are bowing in reverence to the Triple Gem, and the idea of a perfect human being, to the teachings of that being, and to the monastic tradition that has kept these teachings safe for 2500 years. Why then do we need the chunk of shaped metal? Couldn't we just stop whatever we are doing when we feel reverence and bow to the Triple Gem without the need of a statue?
Ref: 2005.07.x.07.08
Written answer
7
9
Who was Devadatta? Can you talk about the relationship between him and the Buddha? Did Devadatta become enlightened?
Ref: 2005.07.x.07.09
Written answer
- Devadatta
7
10
Can we be reborn into each others' worlds? Can humans be reborn as animals, and what are the views on mentally and physically handicapped people? Is there something in their Kamma that gave them this handicap?
Ref: 2005.07.x.07.10
Written answer
- Kamma Sutta
- Rebirth
7
11
If, as a result of practicing the Dhamma, especially death reflection, we are able to cope well with the death of a loved one, for example a parent, we might be criticized by other family members as being cold and unemotional. Could you please talk about this situation.
Ref: 2005.07.x.07.11
Written answer
- Comforting others
- Death reflection

Special Retreat Germany September 2005

Day
Index
Question
6
1
Do you think working with chakras and energies in our body can help us go the spiritual way, e.g. combining Buddhism with Yoga meditation, not here in the retreat, in normal life?
Ref: 2005.09.x.06.01
Written answer
- Chakras
- Psychic powers
6
2
One of the Paramis is Energy. Could you talk about this?
Ref: 2005.09.x.06.02
Written answer
6
3
Can energies of a Compassion/Lovingkindness wish be so strong that when many, many people think of one person with a lot of difficulties in their life, they can really help, or has the person to purify his mind on their own?
Ref: 2005.09.x.06.03
Written answer
6
4
Can you explain more about Compassion/Lovingkindness in the moment of death?
Ref: 2005.09.x.06.04
Written answer
6
5
How can one best help a loved one who has lost a loved one, e.g. when your partner loses one of his or her parents?
Ref: 2005.09.x.06.05
Written answer
6
6
When you need to part from a loved one, do you always reflect upon the possibility that you may never see that person alive again in the future? And if yes, how do you do it?
Ref: 2005.09.x.06.06
Written answer
- Parting from a loved one
6
7
How does a Buddhist behave if he meets people who always complain about sicknesses, how expensive everything is? You could avoid that person if you don't meet them, but you can't avoid that person if you meet them everyday at work. What would you do?
Ref: 2005.09.x.06.07
Written answer
- Complaining people
- Equanimity
6
8
Please talk about Love compared to Compassion.
Ref: 2005.09.x.06.08
Written answer
6
9
Two days ago Steve mentioned ghosts. Would you, please, tell some more about them? How people become ghosts, if they can injure people who are alive, and whether they won't be a ghost anymore?
Ref: 2005.09.x.06.09
Written answer
7
1
In the Tibetan Book of the Dead I've read there are Bardos that you have to through before you are going to sleep. Could you, please, explain this and give methods to become aware of this just before falling asleep.
Ref: 2005.09.x.07.01
Written answer
7
2
How can one deal better with the feeling of failure?
Ref: 2005.09.x.07.02
Written answer
7
3
Can you, please, talk about the different states of mind?
Ref: 2005.09.x.07.03
Written answer
- Satipatthana Sutta
- States of mind
7
4
Can you, please talk about concentration and mindfulness, the robot-like mindfulness, Samatha?
Ref: 2005.09.x.07.04
Written answer
7
5
Can you, please, give an example to experience the practice in daily life?
Ref: 2005.09.x.07.05
Written answer
- Practice in daily life
7
6
Can you, please, talk about Moral Shame?
Ref: 2005.09.x.07.06
Written answer
7
7
What Meditation is most helpful if one wants to quit drinking alcohol?
Ref: 2005.09.x.07.07
Written answer
7
9
What can we do to lessen our judging of others and of ourselves?
Ref: 2005.09.x.07.09
Written answer
7
10
Some say Buddhism is a religion, some say it is a philosophy, which of them is true?
Ref: 2005.09.x.07.10
Written answer
7
11
I heard that the Buddha was also reborn as an animal in former lives. How can animals be reborn as human beings? Do they have to purify themselves?
Ref: 2005.09.x.07.11
Written answer
- Animals
- Buddhist story

Special Retreat Thailand January 2006

Day
Index
Question
2
1
Conventional society often speaks disapprovingly of escape from reality. Does such a reality exist in the mind? In what manner can one escape from it?
Ref: 2006.01.x.02.01
Written answer
2
2
The three-phase walking meditation is for when you can focus longer on the footsteps. Does this mean more advanced meditators use three-phased most of the time? However, I also note that advanced meditators are walking fast. Is it normal to use the three-phase when walking faster?
Ref: 2006.01.x.02.02
Written answer
- Three-phase walking
- Walking meditation
2
3
It is often said that hindsight is 20-20, and we often see a better away after we have done or said something, which can easily fall into self-aversion. How do we prevent and let go of aversions coming from thoughts such as "you should have done it this way"?
Ref: 2006.01.x.02.03
Written answer
2
4
On the last day of the regular retreat you talk about using images of reflective thought to stimulate Compassion. Sometimes I can't think of any real images or stories, and so I create something I think is appropriate. Yet it feels false, because I know I made it up. Can you talk about this?
Ref: 2006.01.x.02.04
Written answer
2
5
Sometimes when I reflect on the fact that my loved ones could die at any time instead of acceptance I feel fear, and not wanting, clinging even stronger to them, almost not wanting them out of my sight. Can you talk about how to balance this fear?
Ref: 2006.01.x.02.05
Written answer
2
6
Can you please talk about jealousy and how we can work with this feeling?
Ref: 2006.01.x.02.06
Written answer
2
7
Did the Buddha give instructions on how to work with dreams?
Ref: 2006.01.x.02.07
Written answer
6
1
Could you say a little about Renunciation and developing it? Same for Energy.
Ref: 2006.01.x.06.01
Written answer
6
2
Some days ago Steve said that Right Mindfulness is not that important, that is not one of the Ten Paramis, but when I think of how to increase my levels of each Parami, I realize I need a lot of mindfulness to do it. So is that correct?
Ref: 2006.01.x.06.02
Written answer
6
3
I have a teacher who tells us to rest and relax more and to be less busy. Does this conflict with your instructions to do more?
Ref: 2006.01.x.06.03
Written answer
6
4
How does one work with children and teens on the subject of respect, basic respect for each other? As a parent, teacher and an adult.
Ref: 2006.01.x.06.04
Written answer
6
5
Steve mentioned yesterday the 8 worldly conditions. Could you please explain Obscurity in more detail or even some other words that might fit to the opposite of Fame?
Ref: 2006.01.x.06.05
Written answer
- Fame
- Obscurity
6
6
What can I do to become less of a worrier?
Ref: 2006.01.x.06.06
Written answer
6
7
How to use the Dhamma when one is diagnosed with a serious disease, and when one lives in fear of such a diagnosis?
Ref: 2006.01.x.06.07
Written answer
6
8
How does one purify their intentions more deeply so their actions, speech and thoughts are less motivated by wanting other's praise and fame?
Ref: 2006.01.x.06.08
Written answer
7
1
It seems quite arrogant and uncomfortable to wish the animals less Dukkha and peace of mind, and then having them on the plate and eat them. Please, do you have any suggestion on how to bend or change this attitude?
Ref: 2006.01.x.07.01
Written answer
7
2
Is it necessary to have been ordained, at least once, to become a teacher? How to become a teacher? Who should become a teacher?
Ref: 2006.01.x.07.02
Written answer
7
3
My partner is taking me for granted. What can I do?
Ref: 2006.01.x.07.03
Written answer
7
4
Regarding children of Dhamma practitioners, what would be a good age to introduce them to formal practice?
Ref: 2006.01.x.07.04
Written answer
- Children
- Teaching children
7
5
How can we qualify how much one has improved on the Ten Paramis? Renunciation, what should/can be renounced?
Ref: 2006.01.x.07.05
Written answer
7
6
Could you please go through Energy, Wisdom and Resolution.
Ref: 2006.01.x.07.06
Written answer
7
7
How does one work to increase Wisdom?
Ref: 2006.01.x.07.07
Written answer
7
8
Isn't the compassionate wish of wishing for the ending of all Dukkha unrealistic? Can we also wish for something that is easier to achieve? How do we tie this seemingly very far goal to our daily life practice?
Ref: 2006.01.x.07.08
Written answer
7
9
Can you explain Mara a bit more? If one has desire and cannot resist it, is that called Mara?
Ref: 2006.01.x.07.09
Written answer
- Desire
- Mara
7
10
When I receive constructive criticism or other types of blame I often turn towards a defensive attitude before listening fully to see whether their statement is true, and if it could help me in some ways. This causes unnecessary difficulties in my relationship. How does one avoid the defensive attitude?
Ref: 2006.01.x.07.10
Written answer
9
1
Are there stories in the scriptures where the Buddha taught a type of D/D reflection? Can you please share with us these stories?
Ref: 2006.01.x.09.01
Written answer
9
2
What is the difference between Ego and Mara?
Ref: 2006.01.x.09.02
Written answer
- Ego
- Mara
9
3
How can we reflect on the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha, especially if one finds it hard to believe some of the incredible stories, or does not want to use some of the superlatives that are used so much in chantings. Are there any shorter phrases that are more down to earth?
Ref: 2006.01.x.09.03
Written answer
9
4
If someone would ask you whom do you love more, the Buddha or your wife/husband, what would you answer?
Ref: 2006.01.x.09.04
Written answer
- Dhamma
- Number one
9
5
If you feel desire when you see someone attractive is it ok to reflect that you have a partner already? They have good physical qualities - so have I, they have some less good physical qualities - so have I, they have some good mental qualities -so have I, they have some negative mental qualities - so have I, they were different before - so was I, they will change - so will I, they are subject to aging, disease and death - so am I, they experience mental and physical Dukkha - so do I, we are just two human beings…?
Ref: 2006.01.x.09.05
Written answer
- Relationships
9
6
Please, if I'm not sure about having a baby and helping it to grow up, what questions can I ask myself?
Ref: 2006.01.x.09.06
Written answer
- Babies
- Children
9
7
How can I tell when I am taking my partner for granted?
Ref: 2006.01.x.09.07
Written answer
- Relationships
- Taking others for granted
9
8
Please what is your opinion on euthanasia, helping someone to die, if very ill, and also an old animal and/or injured animal?
Ref: 2006.01.x.09.08
Written answer

Singapore QA January 2006

Day
Index
Question
1
3
Do children need discipline? How do we do that without getting angry?
Ref: 2006.02.x.01.03
Written answer
1
5
How can we have good relationships with our children, especially when they are teenagers?
Ref: 2006.02.x.01.05
Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2006

Day
Index
Question
6
1
Could you please repeat the Ten Paramis?
Ref: 2006.09.x.06.01
Written answer
- Ten Paramis
6
2
Can you talk some more about Compassion, please?
Ref: 2006.09.x.06.02
Written answer
6
3
How can we deal better with judgments and prejudices in the mind?
Ref: 2006.09.x.06.03
Written answer
6
4
How to deal with fear of blame?
Ref: 2006.09.x.06.04
Written answer
6
5
Can you talk about sexual morality in Buddhism? What about marriage, what about free sex?
Ref: 2006.09.x.06.05
Written answer
6
6
In relation to Generosity, when you know you can do something good for someone but it is not good for yourself, because your energy goes down, how can you react? When should you say no or stop?
Ref: 2006.09.x.06.06
Written answer
6
7
Could you please explain the deeper meaning of Renunciation?
Ref: 2006.09.x.06.07
Written answer
6
8
Could you please speak about Right Speech in relation to developing the Ten Paramis?
Ref: 2006.09.x.06.08
Written answer
6
9
How often should we use the Ten Paramis meditation?
Ref: 2006.09.x.06.09
Written answer
- Negative self-image
- Ten Paramis meditation
6
10
Can you talk more about the feelings of guilt, generosity, and morality?
Ref: 2006.09.x.06.10
Written answer
7
1
You spoke about meditating on the Ten Paramis in pairs, and reflecting on how they make each other stronger. Could you please give some examples?
Ref: 2006.09.x.07.01
Written answer
7
2
Is there any difference between mind objects and mental objects? If yes, what are mental objects to investigate into?
Ref: 2006.09.x.07.02
Written answer
- Mental objects
- Mind objects
7
3
Please could you give me some advice? Sometimes when I see a person who is fat, I think, "Oh, his story led him/her to this." But more often I think, "What has he/she done with this gift of life?" How can I come to feel more compassion?
Ref: 2006.09.x.07.03
Written answer
7
4
How do we work with fear of blame? How to resist blame from family, friends, and colleagues when inside you know you acted beneficially, nevertheless they blame you.
Ref: 2006.09.x.07.04
Written answer
7
5
Is it ok to give someone drugs like opium to lessen his pain just before he dies?
Ref: 2006.09.x.07.05
Written answer
7
6
Why do we tend to judge others?
Ref: 2006.09.x.07.06
Written answer
7
7
Could you please differentiate between the Enlightenment Factor of Tranquility and Equanimity?
Ref: 2006.09.x.07.07
Written answer
7
8
In the talk about "Letting go" you talk about turning worldly feelings into spiritual feelings.
Ref: 2006.09.x.07.08
Written answer
7
9
If a person is in a coma and the brain is, in medical terms, dead, but the body is kept alive on medical equipment, is it then an act of compassion to let a person die or should the body be kept alive?
Ref: 2006.09.x.07.09
Written answer
7
10
Please explain the difference between the Paramis Renunciation and Resolution.
Ref: 2006.09.x.07.10
Written answer
- Renunciation
- Resolution
7
11
Could you please talk about Energy.
Ref: 2006.09.x.07.11
Written answer
- Confidence
- Energy
7
12
When is a person ready for right thinking? Is there any time when children can be taught about Buddhism?
Ref: 2006.09.x.07.12
Written answer
- Children
- Right Thinking
7
13
About donating money. There is such a variety of charity organizations and so many people in the streets beg for money, who to give it to?
Ref: 2006.09.x.07.13
Written answer
- Donating money
7
14
We practice to see the world through the eyes of people who have a lot of Dukkha. Can it also be helpful to try to see through the eyes of wise people, for example an old monk. Would it be like to rip the flower open?
Ref: 2006.09.x.07.14
Written answer
7
15
Please can you talk about forgiving in a relationship. When is it time to stop the contact?
Ref: 2006.09.x.07.15
Written answer
9
1
The person dying with much pain and without getting morphine but instead being guided by a meditation teacher to open to the universality of Dukkha, was this person a meditator?
Ref: 2006.09.x.09.01
Written answer
9
2
What happens in the moment of death according to the scriptures?
Ref: 2006.09.x.09.02
Written answer
- Moment of death
9
3
How does one practice "right donation". What Kammic result may come if I give an anonymous donation, or make my donation public? Some people make public what they donate, but if I give anonymously the receiver does not have the possibility to thank someone.
Ref: 2006.09.x.09.03
Written answer
9
4
How can we act wisely when someone we love suddenly dies?
Ref: 2006.09.x.09.04
Written answer
- Death
- Death story
9
5
How can we always understand what is appropriate and beneficial?
Ref: 2006.09.x.09.05
Written answer
9
6
Please can you talk about envy and how to work with it?
Ref: 2006.09.x.09.06
Written answer
- Envy
- Sympathetic Joy
9
7
Yesterday you mentioned that the mental noting comes from a certain monk. Do the Five Reflections, the Five Hindrances, the teachings of it come directly from the Buddha?
Ref: 2006.09.x.09.07
Written answer
9
8
Please explain the differences between methods, techniques and tools of mental development. What does "to cope with the difficulties" mean? Is it more to manage them perfectly?
Ref: 2006.09.x.09.08
Written answer
9
9
Would you please explain if it is possible to meet a loved one in one's next life and if so, how can one recognize the other person?
Ref: 2006.09.x.09.09
Written answer
9
10
When you have children, there's often a lot of discussion and future plans. How to practice right speech with them considering death reflection?
Ref: 2006.09.x.09.10
Written answer
- Children
- Intention
9
11
Could you please talk about the Seven Factors of Enlightenment, has it the same importance as the Eightfold Path, the Ten Paramis?
Ref: 2006.09.x.09.11
Written answer
9
12
Is it ok for people to live from the social system, if there's huge unemployment, or should they move for work?
Ref: 2006.09.x.09.12
Written answer
- Social system
- Unemployment
9
13
What happens to the mind if it gets enlightened when I die? I heard that after stream-entry one only has seven rebirths. Would this be seven more lives to become fully enlightened. What if that doesn't happen? How does this mean that you can't be a Bodhisattva anymore? Thank you.
Ref: 2006.09.x.09.13
Written answer
- Non-Returner
- Once-Returner
9
14
Can you please talk some more about the dangers of spiritual complacency and getting attached to calmness?
Ref: 2006.09.x.09.14
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Day
Index
Question
2
1
Finding a balance between Compassion and Equanimity is sometimes too much of one, and not enough of the other.
Ref: 2007.01.x.02.01
Written answer
2
2
Could you please talk about self-control?
Ref: 2007.01.x.02.02
Written answer
2
3
Can you please talk about Truthfulness?
Ref: 2007.01.x.02.03
Written answer
2
4
What is more important - Compassion or Wisdom?
Ref: 2007.01.x.02.04
Written answer
2
5
How to deal with mosquitoes so they don't bite; and with dogs, so they don't bite or bark aggressively, or jump on you?
Ref: 2007.01.x.02.05
Written answer
2
6
Can you clarify the relationship between Kamma and reincarnation, especially from animal to human, and vice versa?
Ref: 2007.01.x.02.06
Written answer
6
1
You've said the Noble Eightfold Path is like a spiral. Could you please explain this in a little bit more detail?
Ref: 2007.01.x.06.01
Written answer
6
2
How possible is it to become a Stream Enterer as a layperson? Are there, at the moment, enlightened Buddhas in the world?
Ref: 2007.01.x.06.02
Written answer
6
3
Is wanting good Kamma, and wanting to do good, also a form of greed? If so, what is the Kammic result?
Ref: 2007.01.x.06.03
Written answer
6
4
Can you clarify Morality for a Buddhist?
Ref: 2007.01.x.06.04
Written answer
6
5
At your level of practice, do questions still arise? How/with whom do you resolve them?
Ref: 2007.01.x.06.05
Written answer
6
6
Could you please explain the 7 suitables?
Ref: 2007.01.x.06.06
Written answer
- Four Great Efforts
- Seven Suitable Conditions
6
7
After the intense meditation like last night concerning refugees, prisoners, etc. I find my Dukkha petty, so little compared with some of the situations. Therefore I'm having difficulties having Compassion for myself.
Ref: 2007.01.x.06.07
Written answer
6
8
Can we share your thoughts on the difference between "Love" as defined in the West and Lovingkindness?
Ref: 2007.01.x.06.08
Written answer
7
1
Could you please talk about the importance of the development of Lovingkindness, the difficulties we may have with it and the possible dangers?
Ref: 2007.01.x.07.01
Written answer
7
2
Can you please talk about the importance of having Compassion for ourselves in situations where someone is doing something incorrect, but only mildly? Often I try to have Compassion and Lovingkindness for the other person, but really my aversion is the real problem. How to detect it sooner, and work with it?
Ref: 2007.01.x.07.02
Written answer
7
3
Sometimes I find out that I made wrong decisions. Then I feel upset and angry about it. When I reflect later on I see that it was quite obvious to decide correctly, but I did the opposite. Please, what can I do to avoid such situations in the future?'
Ref: 2007.01.x.07.03
Written answer
7
4
Imagine waking up today, but today isn't different. Can you share your thoughts of the Dukkha of a whole ordinary day, and how to be more Compassionately mindful and reflect what it is like to be alive, what our mind and body is doing, and what we do to satisfy our craving for existence, each ordinary day.
Ref: 2007.01.x.07.04
Written answer
7
5
How can my practice be of help to develop professional goals?
Ref: 2007.01.x.07.05
Written answer
7
6
Can you please talk about the methods to deepen our experiential understanding of both Dukkha and Kamma? Also, regarding Dukkha, how to reflect on the Third and Fourth Noble Truth to keep a balance?
Ref: 2007.01.x.07.06
Written answer
9
1
Are there any types of aversion the D/D method is not appropriate for? E.g., having aversion to someone like Saddam Hussein.
Ref: 2007.01.x.09.01
Written answer
9
2
What can I do to work with the mind that is very restless in the walking? The thoughts are going everywhere.
Ref: 2007.01.x.09.02
Written answer
9
3
Additional advice on working with restlessness of the body: in general, when meditating, and going to bed?
Ref: 2007.01.x.09.03
Written answer
9
4
How to develop patience in a world that goes fast, one has to be fast to be successful?
Ref: 2007.01.x.09.04
Written answer
9
5
What is the Buddha's perspective on donating organs?
Ref: 2007.01.x.09.05
Written answer
9
6
Could you please talk about how to tell if one's strings are too tight? E.g., I did three Compassion/Lovingkindness meditations in a row and still felt quite tense. I'm not sure whether I need to try just coming from another angle. When I think of doing another topic, a confidence-inspiring object, the doubt comes that maybe I'm doing it out of avoiding the Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation.
Ref: 2007.01.x.09.06
Written answer
9
7
Please talk about the Brahma Viharas and how they interrelate with each other.
Ref: 2007.01.x.09.07
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2007

Special Retreat Germany September 2007

Day
Index
Question
6
1
How do you treat "feeling cold" with the Unpleasant Physical Sensation meditation technique?
Ref: 2007.09.x.06.01
Written answer
6
2
If I can defend my life only by killing someone, otherwise they would definitely kill me, what would I do? If I kill them, would that make my Kamma worse?
Ref: 2007.09.x.06.02
Written answer
6
3
Which methods and techniques do you do in formal meditation at least once every day?
Ref: 2007.09.x.06.03
Written answer
6
4
Which are the main obstacles to overcome in Western societies to maintain the meditation practice? How to overcome them?
Ref: 2007.09.x.06.04
Written answer
6
5
There are so many techniques now. Which one to use in which situation or to counter certain negativities in the mind, like the hindrances?
Ref: 2007.09.x.06.05
Written answer
6
6
How can we work with our sexuality in the retreat?
Ref: 2007.09.x.06.06
Written answer
6
7
Is it important for a Buddhist to have been to the places where the Buddha was born, got enlightened and died?
Ref: 2007.09.x.06.07
Written answer
6
8
Could you please explain, give examples for the growth of Morality and Energy and in every day life?
Ref: 2007.09.x.06.08
Written answer
6
9
Please explain the relationship between Moral Shame and Moral Dread?
Ref: 2007.09.x.06.09
Written answer
7
1
How can we separate guilt and Moral Shame in a more detailed kind of way?
Ref: 2007.09.x.07.01
Written answer
7
2
Please talk more about idealistic wishes, judgment, and their relation to Right Effort. Are there any special questions we can work with to find the truth of right and wrong effort?
Ref: 2007.09.x.07.02
Written answer
7
3
Please talk about Mara and how to deal with it/her/him. Should we talk with him/her, how should we talk with him/her, or should we only do mental noting?
Ref: 2007.09.x.07.03
Written answer
7
4
How can we get more lightness in our practice, our normal daily life when it feels heavy?
Ref: 2007.09.x.07.04
Written answer
7
5
Do you think psychotherapy with body orientated methods can help people to understand, accept and overcome specific problems, that may be difficult to find out only with practicing meditation? In which cases would you advocate this?
Ref: 2007.09.x.07.05
Written answer
7
6
Can you please explain Patience and Equanimity and the difference between them?
Ref: 2007.09.x.07.06
Written answer
7
7
Is it heartless to bring our parents into a home for old people if we feel unable to care for them ourselves? Thanks.
Ref: 2007.09.x.07.07
Written answer
7
8
Could you please speak about the influence TV has on the mind. Are there any beneficial effects possible? Is it ok to relax the mind by watching TV?
Ref: 2007.09.x.07.08
Written answer
- Self-pity
- TV
7
9
What else next to the development of the Paramis could be an appropriate preparation for dying and death, both on a spiritual and material level? Do you think it could help to prepare for how you would like to be treated in the hospital if you are in a situation without consciousness, to get your financial stuff in order, to have your wishes known for the memorial and the funeral, and so on, and to write it down. Perhaps this could help to bring the awareness of death to mind as well.
Ref: 2007.09.x.07.09
Written answer
9
1
If you meet people who are living on the social system, using many good social things in Germany and then they always complain about the system and the politics, how would you talk to them?
Ref: 2007.09.x.09.01
Written answer
9
2
Can you please explain what or who Mara is?
Ref: 2007.09.x.09.02
Written answer
- Ignorance
- Mara
9
3
I would like to hear some inspiring stories about early people of the Sangha, like Ananda, Sariputta, and Mogallana. Is there a book about how and what they did after the Buddha died?
Ref: 2007.09.x.09.03
Written answer
9
4
When and why did you decide to live a Buddhist life?
Ref: 2007.09.x.09.04
Written answer
9
5
Can you talk more about Compassion as a motivating energy for activities beyond meditation, please? Work, sales specifically, household chores, etc.
Ref: 2007.09.x.09.05
Written answer
9
6
Could you please speak of Truthfulness in relation to the development of the other Paramis?
Ref: 2007.09.x.09.06
Written answer
9
7
Could you please talk about Right Livelihood?
Ref: 2007.09.x.09.07
Written answer
9
8
What do you think about connecting the concentration on the breathing with a little wish, for example, "I breath in confidence, I breath out my fears"?
Ref: 2007.09.x.09.08
Written answer
9
9
Please let me know how I can work with situations where I feel embarrassed, or thoughts and emotions about situations from my past where I felt very embarrassed.
Ref: 2007.09.x.09.09
Written answer
9
10
Can you please talk more about the Noble Eightfold Path?
Ref: 2007.09.x.09.10
Written answer
9
11
Is there a difference between a Buddha and an enlightened person?
Ref: 2007.09.x.09.11
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2008

Day
Index
Question
2
1
Could you please talk about which techniques to use when dealing with a headache?
Ref: 2008.01.x.02.01
Written answer
2
2
I recently heard people judging me as being closed, even a little autistic, when I was just trying to feel inside and be aware of the situation. How can I deal with judgement?
Ref: 2008.01.x.02.02
Written answer
2
3
Here, we seem not to put much importance on faith. Could you please explain a little more?
Ref: 2008.01.x.02.03
Written answer
2
4
What is the antidote to anger and aversion, Compassion or Equanimity?
Ref: 2008.01.x.02.04
Written answer
2
5
Could you please remind me how to dedicate the merits of meditation towards a loved one who has died?
Ref: 2008.01.x.02.05
Written answer
2
6
Sometimes I find myself in problems trying to help someone else, but cannot give the help that is expected or even keep my own promise. What is best to do?
Ref: 2008.01.x.02.06
Written answer
2
7
Could you please talk about the importance of developing the Unselfish Emotions in relation to the Wisdom practice?
Ref: 2008.01.x.02.07
Written answer
2
8
As I recall, Steve has stated that if Moral Shame and Moral Dread are perfected, it could be the same as being enlightened. Could you please explain how the perfection or development of these two things lead to the necessary eradication of all desires, aversions and ignorance of reality that is necessary for enlightenment?
Ref: 2008.01.x.02.08
Written answer
6
1
I read somewhere that the translation for Yonisomanasikara is "careful attention." What do you think about it?
Ref: 2008.01.x.06.01
Written answer
6
2
In the Satipattana Sutta, the Buddha said, "And how the hindrances do not arise in the future." For this we use Wise Reflection, right? Anything else?
Ref: 2008.01.x.06.02
Written answer
6
3
Could you explain more why most of us like to hold onto self-pity type of thoughts?
Ref: 2008.01.x.06.03
Written answer
6
4
Could you please talk about how we can develop our experiential understanding of Dependent Origination and Kamma?
Ref: 2008.01.x.06.04
Written answer
6
5
Could you please talk about signs from our thoughts that we are off-balance with one of the Four Brahma Viharas? For example, when I have too many thoughts of, "Oh, there is so much Dukkha" and I'm having trouble wishing Lovingkindness, then is it a sign for me that I need more Sympathetic Joy to remember the way out, and maybe also Equanimity to bring more acceptance?
Ref: 2008.01.x.06.05
Written answer
6
6
Please talk more about mental formations as part of the Five Aggregates?
Ref: 2008.01.x.06.06
Written answer
6
7
Can you give me more hints on the achievement mind, please?
Ref: 2008.01.x.06.07
Written answer
7
1
Could you please talk about dealing with restlessness, especially during the walking?
Ref: 2008.01.x.07.01
Written answer
- Restlessness
- Walking meditation
7
2
Could you talk about the Seven Factors of Enlightenment, please? Do they need to be all the same strength and all be present at the same time for enlightenment? How can we strengthen these factors within ourselves?
Ref: 2008.01.x.07.02
Written answer
7
3
How can I work on strengthening my confidence in the Buddha as a person I have never met and where I have to believe in what has been recorded?
Ref: 2008.01.x.07.03
Written answer
7
4
How do we stay in the present moment when/if we wish to act compassionately for ourselves and others and have to look ahead for possible outcomes, likely results, etc.?
Ref: 2008.01.x.07.04
Written answer
7
5
It took the Buddha six years to get enlightenment. What is our human potential?
Ref: 2008.01.x.07.05
Written answer
7
6
I remember Rosemary once saying something like "loss increases as we age," in regard to our older relatives having trouble letting go of a house which is too big and too expensive for them to keep. Could you please talk about what we can do now to remind and prepare ourselves for the losses of aging?
Ref: 2008.01.x.07.06
Written answer
7
7
How can we become less dependent on positive feedback, praise or fame from other people to motivate our inward growth?
Ref: 2008.01.x.07.07
Written answer
7
8
Could you please define or give an example of self-pity? I am sure I have plenty of it, but sometimes when I hear you talk about it, it seems like every unwholesome thought could be self-pity. This seems a bit broad, so maybe I am missing something or maybe all my thoughts are self-pity.
Ref: 2008.01.x.07.08
Written answer
7
9
Is there a difference between altruism and unselfishness? If so, what is the difference?
Ref: 2008.01.x.07.09
Written answer
7
10
Can you talk about the value and power of making aspirations regularly, for example, the daily aspiration to always have a connection to the Dhamma in this life and in the future lives?
Ref: 2008.01.x.07.10
Written answer
9
1
Can you talk about the difference between pleasure that comes from the worldly dhammas, the Joy factor of enlightenment, and pleasure as the ending of Dukkha?
Ref: 2008.01.x.09.01
Written answer
9
2
After the forgiveness meditation, I found I couldn't remember all of the steps you took us through when it came to extending the meditation on my own. What would you recommend as the most important parts of that meditation if we are to do a shorter version? Or is it better to go back and try to memorize the whole long form?
Ref: 2008.01.x.09.02
Written answer
9
3
Please give some common examples of Equanimity falling into indifference and how to avoid this, especially in relationships with those close to us, family and work?
Ref: 2008.01.x.09.03
Written answer
9
4
With the forgiveness meditation, I found it very difficult to say I forgive you to the Taliban militia in Afghanistan. However, later, when I had done a reflection on Equanimity, that they are the owner of their Kamma, etc., I was able to extend this forgiveness. Could you please talk about the role of Equanimity in forgiveness?
Ref: 2008.01.x.09.04
Written answer
9
5
Regarding forgetting, it can seem too much of a coincidence sometimes. I seem to forget just what I should be looking at in the mind most of all, missing out a section of the Seven Daily Reflections. Please explain what's going on.
Ref: 2008.01.x.09.05
Written answer
9
6
I was recently a bit unnerved when an acquaintance asked, "Are you going to get a normal job again?" referring to the fact of being an assistant here at Wat Kow Tahm. Though I did reply something about this being normal for me, I felt a bit at a loss to explain better. Help.
Ref: 2008.01.x.09.06
Written answer

Bangkok QA May 2008

Berlin QA September 2008

Day
Index
Question
7
2
How do you deal with the opposite of complacency; when you have too much self-criticism? For example when I'm too hard on myself, too critical that I'm still not that generous, that I'm still not that patient, etc.
Ref: 2008.09.x.07.02
Written answer
7
4
In everyday practice, I have a lot of problems with breath meditation, being aware of the breathing. Is this it a problem if I do only reflection instead?
Ref: 2008.09.x.07.04
Written answer
7
5
It's very difficult at times to practice Compassion. I feel like I used to be in my family with my brother, or my father, and my mother, sometimes they say very bad things to me and it happens to me in my family life, too. My husband, he's is very nice to me but he gets angry and says very bad things to me, and though I want to be nice to him, though I don't want to hurt him either but in that on such occasions, it's very difficult to control myself. How to practice my Compassion then?
Ref: 2008.09.x.07.05
Written answer
8
2
How can I develop more patience with myself and others?
Ref: 2008.09.x.08.02
Written answer
8
4
Is having acceptance of Dukkha the same as having Compassion?
Ref: 2008.09.x.08.04
Written answer
8
6
I believe we become wiser by getting older. What do you think about this?
Ref: 2008.09.x.08.06
Written answer
8
7
How can a person deal with bad Kamma like abusive parents, sexual abuse, etc.? What if it falls again and again into grief, anger and self-hatred?
Ref: 2008.09.x.08.07
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2009

Day
Index
Question
2
1
How can I try to be less of a perfectionist?
Ref: 2009.01.x.02.01
Written answer
2
2
How does an understanding of the relationship between Compassion and Equanimity help me in my relationship with myself?
Ref: 2009.01.x.02.02
Written answer
2
3
What helps to let go of prejudices towards other people?
Ref: 2009.01.x.02.03
Written answer
2
4
In the Day 1 Evening Talk in the regular Retreat, Steve talks about the different stages of Mindfulness exampled before, during and after a situation has happened. Concerning before, he refers to being aware of the causes and conditions that bring about certain reactions in us. Could you please talk about the causes and conditions stage of Mindfulness.
Ref: 2009.01.x.02.04
Written answer
2
5
Regarding walking with awareness, do you have further instructions how to bring what we learn in formal sessions to our everyday walking?
Ref: 2009.01.x.02.05
Written answer
2
6
Someone I know, has for many years not been entirely honest in their financial affairs. This was with good intentions to help the family and nobody directly is hurt by it. This is now causing them a lot of mental Dukkha. They asked for help from a friend but this person is concerned about compromising their precepts particularly if their advice is not followed. Please comment.
Ref: 2009.01.x.02.06
Written answer
6
1
The Sabbasava Sutta talks about the dangers of becoming enmeshed in views, the jungle of views, the wilderness of views, the scuttling in views, the agitation of views, the fetters of views. Could you please give some examples of these?
Ref: 2009.01.x.06.01
Written answer
6
2
I reflect rather on what I can do for other people to have peace of mind, etc. than wishing them to have it, the same for world peace. Your comments please.
Ref: 2009.01.x.06.02
Written answer
6
3
Last night's sleep was full of dreams, some pleasant, some unpleasant, some potentially embarrassing if I happen to talk in my sleep, some almost mindful feeling my body moving in a dream. Then I awoke and thought of Mara. Could you please discuss dreams and how they relate to the practice. Do unbeneficial thoughts, speech and actions in dreams affect Kamma?
Ref: 2009.01.x.06.03
Written answer
6
4
I prefer saying "I allow myself to have peace of mind etc." instead of wishing in the future and not now.
Ref: 2009.01.x.06.04
Written answer
6
5
I find the Ten Paramis reflection the most difficult, often struggling to assess how much I've grown and how I feel about my development, even for those where I have developed significantly. Would you please suggest ways for me to keep track of Parami development so I don't struggle during the reflections.
Ref: 2009.01.x.06.05
Written answer
6
6
Of the Ten Paramis, Renunciation is the most easily forgotten for me. Please give advice on developing this quality.
Ref: 2009.01.x.06.06
Written answer
6
7
How do I work with a mind that is restlessly wandering to stories? Not stories that seem to be connected with fears, plans, doubts, etc. but rather just bubbles floating by.
Ref: 2009.01.x.06.07
Written answer
- Imagining
- Train analogy
6
8
Can you tell me please how can I create Sympathetic Joy in my mind?
Ref: 2009.01.x.06.08
Written answer
7
1
What is sadness, what is depression, in Dhamma terms? Why do you think they are treated as unavoidable diseases almost? Once established as a norm in our mind, do you think we can cure them with Vipassana practice? Thank you.
Ref: 2009.01.x.07.01
Written answer
7
2
Yesterday's mindfulness activity was to reflect on Patience and Equanimity while waiting in line. Could you explain the subtle difference between the two?
Ref: 2009.01.x.07.02
Written answer
7
3
My mother is now 72 and has increasing problems with the body - arthritis, heart condition, asthma and has developed depression and other mental problems. I believe it may be related to the lack of a spiritual practice. She has recently talked of how she intends to take a pill to end her life when the suffering gets too much. Please can you give a Buddhist view on this and talk about how to deal with this wisely.
Ref: 2009.01.x.07.03
Written answer
7
4
Could you please outline and talk about the Buddha's perspective of human life as it seems quite different to modern science. I mean at what point does a human start. Is it when the sperm joins the ovum? Also the ending of life, how do we talk about what happens? I only have an idea of Christian soul and heaven and hell or science nothing but matter and energy.
Ref: 2009.01.x.07.04
Written answer
7
5
I was raised with the Western idea of marriage, that it is a union "till death do us part". Considering relationships and spiritual compatibility, can you discuss how, or if the concept of marriage is appropriate to our practice? Also assuming we have not yet met a person who follows the same path, should we still date or is this just increasing Dukkha?
Ref: 2009.01.x.07.05
Written answer
7
6
I heard another Dhamma teacher say that if we feel superior to another person, because we have followed the path and they don't, we immediately lose our merit gained from practicing the Dhamma. Do you agree?
Ref: 2009.01.x.07.06
Written answer
7
7
Can you explain how not to feel better than others who may be acting unskillfully?
Ref: 2009.01.x.07.07
Written answer
9
1
When somebody did a lot of harm to you, but later you realized you did learn a lot by all your suffering and about the inner motivations of the other person, so you understand more of life, can that influence the other's Kamma?
Ref: 2009.01.x.09.01
Written answer
- Kamma
9
2
Do people who are partially enlightened have a desire for becoming, a desire to exist?
Ref: 2009.01.x.09.02
Written answer
- Becoming
- Wishing to become
9
3
Out of compassion for the suffering of an animal, many people choose to euthanize the animal. Would you please discuss Compassionate Intention, Dukkha and Kamma of this action?
Ref: 2009.01.x.09.03
Written answer
9
4
In the Sabbasava Sutta it says, "When they reflect wisely in this manner the three fetters the false view of self, doubt and attachment to rites and rituals fall away from them." What does it mean, the false view of self? Would one have a perfected view of the false view of self?
Ref: 2009.01.x.09.04
Written answer
9
5
What techniques do you advise for working with letting go of feelings of unworthiness, low self-esteem, self-hatred, feeling guilty, blaming oneself? Balancing these with good actions I know already.
Ref: 2009.01.x.09.05
Written answer
9
6
The long eight worldly dhammas meditation last night, though an avid story maker, daydreamer, I found my imagination lacking when trying to find some of the examples to reflect on, What do you think this is?
Ref: 2009.01.x.09.06
Written answer
9
7
Please help with examples when reflecting on wanting blame, loss, pain and obscurity?
Ref: 2009.01.x.09.07
Written answer
9
8
Can you give me some examples and explain why it's so hard to work with the eight worldly conditions?
Ref: 2009.01.x.09.08
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2009

Day
Index
Question
2
1
Can you please give details of what the perfection of Renunciation entails.
Ref: 2009.07.x.02.01
Written answer
2
2
What are some methods with dealing with fear when doing death reflection, in particular in dealing with being buried alive?
Ref: 2009.07.x.02.02
Written answer
2
3
When I do Sympathetic Joy meditation for others, I feel uplifted and sometimes a bit high. When I do it for myself I feel a deep contentment about the actions and choices I made, but not a high. Is that okay?
Ref: 2009.07.x.02.03
Written answer
2
4
How do we make sure we are having equanimity and not indifference?
Ref: 2009.07.x.02.04
Written answer
2
5
I have the "you should/should not" attitude. Can you help me with this?
Ref: 2009.07.x.02.05
Written answer
2
6
Can you please talk about the nature of praise and blame, concern about others judgment of you and its relation to Dukkha, especially fear?
Ref: 2009.07.x.02.06
Written answer
2
7
Is it beneficial to have a short form for reflection when bowing to the Triple Gem? If so, what may the short form include?
Ref: 2009.07.x.02.07
Written answer
6
1
Can you discuss the factors that determine Right Livelihood?
Ref: 2009.07.x.06.01
Written answer
- Noble Eightfold Path
- Right Livelihood
6
2
When some conflict arises between us and a friend or a close loved one, what are some ways to come through the conflict with our relationship remaining okay?
Ref: 2009.07.x.06.02
Written answer
6
3
Does Buddhism teach anything about the moment after death?
Ref: 2009.07.x.06.03
Written answer
7
1
A close family member of mine is compassionate and generous with humans, but rather dry with animals. Could you please talk about the importance of opening our heart to all beings, for our own well being, and the possible Kammic effects if we don't.
Ref: 2009.07.x.07.01
Written answer
7
2
Can you please discuss what the perfection of Energy entails?
Ref: 2009.07.x.07.02
Written answer
7
3
Please could you give some examples of people, situations where there was equanimity but no compassion.
Ref: 2009.07.x.07.03
Written answer
7
4
Can you please mention some more about the relationship between Compassion and Equanimity. Especially about Equanimity.
Ref: 2009.07.x.07.04
Written answer
7
5
Please explain the relationship between conditioning and Kamma.
Ref: 2009.07.x.07.05
Written answer
7
6
Can you please talk about fear of blame, especially the fear of not wanting to get a bad picture of oneself.
Ref: 2009.07.x.07.06
Written answer
9
1
As a kid/young teenager I sometimes stole money from my parents' wallet. How can I make up for that now?
Ref: 2009.07.x.09.01
Written answer
9
2
How can we deal with the situation where the other person thinks they are better than us?
Ref: 2009.07.x.09.02
Written answer
- Eight worldly dhammas
- Self-worth
9
3
During the forgiveness meditation, one of the sticky situations I remembered was one where I was disappointed in my own conduct in the situation. I can also feel justifications arising that there were reasons that the other person was not considering. Yet it is not called a justification meditation. How to work skillfully with this?
Ref: 2009.07.x.09.03
Written answer
9
4
Seeing examples of too much ego all around, would you say working to lessen ideas of self or ego is a large part of our practice? Why is it such a strong attachment?
Ref: 2009.07.x.09.04
Written answer
9
5
Why is it that I have more equanimity toward animals when they seem indifferent to me compared to people? Is it due to my expectations?
Ref: 2009.07.x.09.05
Written answer
- Animals
- Expectations
9
6
I experienced a spontaneous act of generosity from a total stranger who helped me out in a time of need. Seemed like a deva coming down to help me. Do you believe in such actions, have you experienced similar events?
Ref: 2009.07.x.09.06
Written answer
9
7
Please talk one more time about the step from Right Understanding to Right Intention.
Ref: 2009.07.x.09.07
Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2009

Day
Index
Question
6
1
Could you please explain about the negative self-image?
Ref: 2009.09.x.06.01
Written answer
6
2
How would you treat a drug-addicted friend?
Ref: 2009.09.x.06.02
Written answer
6
3
How did you come to deep confidence in the Dhamma? Were there certain moments that strengthened your confidence in a special way or did it simply grow gradually?
Ref: 2009.09.x.06.03
Written answer
6
4
Which kind of meditation would you recommend to get rid of grief?
Ref: 2009.09.x.06.04
Written answer
6
5
Rosemary once stated a phrase like this "most people are stuck in Vedana." Could you explain this?
Ref: 2009.09.x.06.05
Written answer
- Impermanence
- Vedana
6
6
How can I help people facing death and dying who have no belief system, who only think of themselves in a material way?
Ref: 2009.09.x.06.06
Written answer
- Death
- Dying
6
7
How important is courage to maintain the meditation practice? And in what way is it important?
Ref: 2009.09.x.06.07
Written answer
- Confidence-inspiring objects
- Courage
6
8
Yesterday in the talk about the Satipattana Sutta you said something like "to an unpleasant worldly feeling we cultivate an unpleasant spiritual feeling".
Ref: 2009.09.x.06.08
Written answer
7
1
What are the results of bad speech?
Ref: 2009.09.x.07.01
Written answer
- Bad speech
7
2
The Buddha was confronted with death when he was an adult. What does this mean concerning the growing up of a child? When should they confront this?
Ref: 2009.09.x.07.02
Written answer
7
3
Can you talk about feelings and not wanting to be attached too much to worldly things and persons? How can you promise someone to love someone and stay with him or her for the rest of your life?
Ref: 2009.09.x.07.03
Written answer
7
4
Can you explain what is done with dead bodies in the tradition of Theravadin Buddhism. What are the funerals in Thailand like?
Ref: 2009.09.x.07.04
Written answer
- Buddhist funerals
- Theravadin Buddhism
7
5
Monks seem to have a higher position, getting more respect then Nuns in Thailand. Are there only cultural reasons for this or is there anything written in the scriptures.
Ref: 2009.09.x.07.05
Written answer
7
6
Yesterday evening you talked about mindfulness of states of mind. What can help depressed people who have depressed states of mind for a very long period, maybe for months?
Ref: 2009.09.x.07.06
Written answer
7
7
Would you please explain what is wrong speech?
Ref: 2009.09.x.07.07
Written answer
7
8
Children at a certain age love to indulge in music. I as a meditator have more and more problems with music. Can you give some advice for parents as to how to deal with that?
Ref: 2009.09.x.07.08
Written answer
7
9
Reflection on Compassion/Lovingkindness wishes makes my practice so much easier and I have experienced a lot of benefit but sometimes I think it is too easy and I have to do some more mindfulness of breathing. What do you recommend as a certain time, my practice is 20 minutes?
Ref: 2009.09.x.07.09
Written answer
7
10
We investigate into meditation pain in order to become aware of our body and mind so that we will be strengthened when we have Dukkha in our life - pain. But how can these investigations help me with real pain? It usually doesn't go away the longer we are focusing on it. It is not of the same nature as real pain is it?
Ref: 2009.09.x.07.10
Written answer
- Meditation pain
- Pain
9
1
Would you explain Mara, please?
Ref: 2009.09.x.09.01
Written answer
- Ignorance
- Mara
9
2
A German Christian author who writes popular books about Christianity and beliefs says that Buddhists avoid love because they don't want to be hurt. What would you reply? I gave that book to my mother.
Ref: 2009.09.x.09.02
Written answer
9
3
Could you please explain what is Sila?
Ref: 2009.09.x.09.03
Written answer
- Morality
- Sila
9
4
Does it make sense, and would you recommend, separating the contemplation of compassion and lovingkindness?
Ref: 2009.09.x.09.04
Written answer
9
5
Can one say that conceit is like giving oneself fame?
Ref: 2009.09.x.09.05
Written answer
- Conceit
- Fame
9
6
I would tease a retreatant with the intention to help him to grow. Is it bad Kamma for me, and Dukkha for him? For example, when we queue up for breakfast I would take the food very slowly (I didn't do it yet).
Ref: 2009.09.x.09.06
Written answer
9
7
Even though humor is not one of the Paramis, it seems to be a very helpful and beneficial quality. How can it be developed and increased?
Ref: 2009.09.x.09.07
Written answer
- Cosmic humor
- Humor
9
8
How to let go of the fear of losing loved ones, the fear that they will die?
Ref: 2009.09.x.09.08
Written answer
9
9
Why do you want to make a movie about the Buddha?
Ref: 2009.09.x.09.09
Written answer
- Buddha movie
9
10
When does human life start from the Buddha's point of view? Right after the sperm and egg merged?
Ref: 2009.09.x.09.10
Written answer
- Abortion
9
11
I have a question about the 2nd Noble Truth. Ignorance is the cause. Ignorance of what?
Ref: 2009.09.x.09.11
Written answer
- Ignorance
9
12
Rosemary told us that the Buddha talked about faith, wisdom, morality and generosity to be very important for a partnership. Can you please explain more about these qualities, the difference between faith and morality and why these four?
Ref: 2009.09.x.09.12
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Day
Index
Question
13
1
Could you please talk about the role of impermanence with letting go of fear? Example: If I have a strong fear of a difficult event occurring in the future and I know, "You can't 100 percent prevent it from happening." It helps to think, "Well, if it does happen, it is impermanent, it is Dukkha, but it won't last forever." How does this relate to the D/D reflection? Which reflection should you do come first?
Ref: 2010.01.x.13.01
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13
2
If one desires to teach children meditation, at what age should they start? Which techniques do you recommend? And how can we encourage them to reflect on Compassion and Dukkha?
Ref: 2010.01.x.13.02
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13
3
Please explain how we can wisely judge right or wrong livelihood? I've heard that killing is ok sometimes, to kill an animal for food, as the intention is to survive.
Ref: 2010.01.x.13.03
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13
4
I do not understand the 1-10-11-1 meditation. Can you explain it more?
Ref: 2010.01.x.13.04
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13
5
How important is Equanimity?
Ref: 2010.01.x.13.05
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15
1
What does enlightenment exactly mean? Should it be our goal?
Ref: 2010.01.x.15.01
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15
2
How could bad things happen to people who have done evil to no one?
Ref: 2010.01.x.15.02
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15
3
Is grief a kind of non-accepting Dukkha? What kind of meditation can I use to avoid grief?
Ref: 2010.01.x.15.03
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15
4
How do you deal with feelings of inferiority and unworthiness?
Ref: 2010.01.x.15.04
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15
5
In the day 11 guided meditation from Rosemary, where we tried to find some Compassion/Lovingkindness for people from different cultures and races around the world, I found that I had the most difficulty with the final example, your own country. I couldn't get started with reflecting at all. Help? Also any tips on how to feel? I don't know any facts about how what life is actually like in Iraq or Africa. So it doesn't feel real, over intellectualizing.
Ref: 2010.01.x.15.05
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15
6
Is it worth trying to figure out what events or serious events led you to be a certain way? For example: how did I become such a jealous person? Or is that feeding the thought?
Ref: 2010.01.x.15.06
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- Dukkha
- Poisoned arrow
15
7
If you are no longer in the cycle of life and death when you become enlightened, then what happens to you? Do you live forever? What did the Buddha describe enlightenment to be like?
Ref: 2010.01.x.15.07
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15
8
What do you mean with being partly enlightened?
Ref: 2010.01.x.15.08
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15
9
Would somebody free from Dukkha never feel Embarrassment?
Ref: 2010.01.x.15.09
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15
10
Can you please explain the difference between Equanimity as a Parami and Equanimity as a Brahma Vihara?
Ref: 2010.01.x.15.10
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15
11
Sympathetic Joy. Could you please explain in which way you feel it with yourself?
Ref: 2010.01.x.15.11
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15
12
Could you please name the Ten Paramis again?
Ref: 2010.01.x.15.12
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- Ten Paramis
15
13
What is the process to help make the best decision, for example, finishing doing my job or be in time for the walking meditation?
Ref: 2010.01.x.15.13
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- Decisions
- Work
15
14
What does Buddhism think of drinking and drugs? If nothing bad comes from getting drunk, is it considered ok, wise, or unwise? The fifth precept says to undertake the rule of training to abstain from intoxicants which confuse the mind.
Ref: 2010.01.x.15.14
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17
1
If people became enlightened just by listening to Buddha, how come Ananda didn't become enlightened until after he died, if he was so close to the Buddha?
Ref: 2010.01.x.17.01
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- Ananda
- Enlightenment
17
2
Good actors/actresses feel the emotion themselves when they are performing, for example anger, sorrow etc. Since we are trying to remove these mental states, would an acting career be unbeneficial on the person's mental development?
Ref: 2010.01.x.17.02
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- Acting
17
3
Did the Buddha say anything about dreams? What they are and if they have any meaning? Also, is it possible to sleep without dreaming?
Ref: 2010.01.x.17.03
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- Dreams
17
4
In previous or future lives, could you be an animal or do you always stay human?
Ref: 2010.01.x.17.04
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17
5
Is all suffering caused by ourselves?
Ref: 2010.01.x.17.05
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- Dukkha
- Samsara
17
6
How are people only partly enlightened? I thought it was all or nothing. Wouldn't anyone who has some insight be partly enlightened then?
Ref: 2010.01.x.17.06
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17
7
Why is the process of dying so important in Theravadin Buddhism What do you personally think will happen when you die? How would you handle this?
Ref: 2010.01.x.17.07
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17
8
How can meditating on the Triple Gem help?
Ref: 2010.01.x.17.08
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17
9
For some meditations you get us to imagine people who are suffering more than us, but what about the person who is suffering the most?
Ref: 2010.01.x.17.09
Written answer
- Dukkha
- Suffering
17
10
I understand that confidence is very important for everything, but how do you build it, how do you make yourself become more confident?
Ref: 2010.01.x.17.10
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- Confidence
- Confidence-inspiring objects
17
11
For the forgiveness meditation, is it more skillful to include reflection on our Kamma at that time, followed by reflection on Equanimity?
Ref: 2010.01.x.17.11
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17
12
Is it beneficial to learn about other religious beliefs and practices?
Ref: 2010.01.x.17.12
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- Buddhism
- Other religious beliefs
17
13
Sometimes I say stupid things, I'm not sure why, probably to please people. Afterwards I get a bit annoyed with myself and the other person who could think I'm stupid. What can I do to change this?
Ref: 2010.01.x.17.13
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- Eight worldly dhammas
17
14
Can people that have already died benefit from Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation done for them?
Ref: 2010.01.x.17.14
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17
15
Why do people want to feel like their problems were the worst and no one else feels like they do? Why do we want to feel sorry for ourselves? Self-pity? Is it because it gives us a sense of identity? And what are we seeking at that moment, is it Compassion from somebody?
Ref: 2010.01.x.17.15
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17
16
When injustice happens to me, my partner does not stand up for me towards that other person, perhaps because of a fear of loss, losing the good relationship with that person. That hurts and disappoints me. What can I do?
Ref: 2010.01.x.17.16
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17
17
How to strengthen the Parami of Morality in everyday life?
Ref: 2010.01.x.17.17
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17
18
Steve mentioned the Buddha's wife, Yasodhara, had great psychic powers. What are psychic powers? Is it true that we do not try to develop these? Sometimes we seem to know each others thoughts, is that psychic or just because we are so similar?
Ref: 2010.01.x.17.18
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- Psychic powers

Special Retreat Thailand July 2010

Day
Index
Question
2
1
How can we react when selfish emotions arise? What reflections can we use?
Ref: 2010.07.x.02.01
Written answer
2
2
Can you please talk about self-pity and how we can recognize it in our practice and daily life?
Ref: 2010.07.x.02.02
Written answer
2
3
During last night's meditation, the idea that we are interconnected with all living beings came up. Can you please talk more about this?
Ref: 2010.07.x.02.03
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2
4
During the regular retreats, Steve talked about separating the person from the action. Could it also be beneficial to do this with ourselves?
Ref: 2010.07.x.02.04
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2
5
My mind and senses are cloudy, perhaps from jetlag and a few sleepless nights, from the World Cup, and from fatigue. I'm having difficulty focusing on and retaining the teachings. How do I open and sharpen my focus so that I can "fully-internalize" the talks?
Ref: 2010.07.x.02.05
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6
1
Please talk about humility, especially as I seem to have a wrong view that if we are happy and confident then we are not quiet and obscure.
Ref: 2010.07.x.06.01
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6
2
Is there a short form of Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation? I find it a challenge to remember and enunciate in my mind each and every word, "Learn, practice and develop methods, techniques and tools...", or am I being lazy by wanting to say/think simply "Metta"?
Ref: 2010.07.x.06.02
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6
3
Do you consider any Paramis more important than others?
Ref: 2010.07.x.06.03
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6
4
In one of the 10-day talks you mention that in order to let go of attachment to worldly pleasant feeling you need to develop spiritual pleasant feeling. Could you please talk about this with an example?
Ref: 2010.07.x.06.04
Written answer
- Pleasant worldly feeling
- Pleasant spiritual feeling
6
5
I have seen the unbeneficial effects of planning on my body. Can you give us advice on how to plan for the future wisely?
Ref: 2010.07.x.06.05
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6
6
Could you please talk about the relationship between Truthfulness, Right Intention and the eight worldly dhammas?
Ref: 2010.07.x.06.06
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6
7
What are some things that I can do in my life to help my level of Equanimity to grow?
Ref: 2010.07.x.06.07
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6
8
How does one let go of attachment to wanting obscurity when it arises?
Ref: 2010.07.x.06.08
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7
1
Irena Sendler, a Polish social worke