Question

Would it be wise in some situations to give up personal preferences?

Answer

Sure. How many of you want a pizza for lunch today? Sounds good. Yeah, we have to give up personal preferences a lot, and if any of you are in relationships, and if it is a successful relationship, then you are probably giving up preferences quite often, in order to make the relationship easier, more comfortable and so on.

Now, giving up personal preferences has to be guarded, in the sense that you don't give up on your values, on your principles, on your direction. You don't want to go against the Parami of Truthfulness, being truthful to the direction that you want to go. So in that sense, for those of you who have quit alcohol and drugs, that's your resolution, your determination, you don't want to do it again because it clouds your mind, fine. Somebody says to you, "Oh, let's have a beer". You don't want to give up your personal preference in that moment, because that thing goes directly against your principles.

So you want to be very careful not to give up your personal preference when it is going to drag you backward, on your morality issue, your generosity, your patience, on any beneficial level at all. You don't want to be dragged backward. So, giving up preferences, when it is little things, when it's not so important, yes that's fine, but don't give up your preferences on your directions, on your principles in life.

It is very obvious that much of the world gives up too much on their principles. Why is it that censorship is being thrown out these days and anything goes, and you're listening to music on a public bus, and a song has swear words or singing about killing someone and raping somebody? That was a popular music song which I listened to on a bus. Why are these things happening? Because too many people are giving up on their principles and allowing other things which actually can create harm in society to be allowed.

People have different viewpoints concerning what they call "free speech", but personally when I listened to that song I could see nothing beneficial in the words and only something that will stimulate, in young people in particular, thoughts that are going to go against doing good, avoiding harm and purifying the mind. So when we think of giving up personal preferences, we do want to be careful about whether giving up on preferences actually is going to end up being harmful either to ourselves or to others.

Now, one personal preference that Rosemary and I give up, is basically something that is not harmful but is something that we would normally not do. If we are back in America visiting my parents, or if we are in Australia with Rosemary's mother, and we take them out to dinner, we take them to where they want to go, not our personal preference. Now, because we are taking them where they want to go, especially with my parents, it's a fair bit of money. It is much more than I would pay on my own meals. But I'm doing it for them, and in that sense I'm giving up a bit on a personal preference, I am losing a bit of money, but I'm doing something for my parents because that's their favorite restaurant.

So this sort of giving up on your preferences in relationships can be very helpful, as long as you don't give up on your principles.

Our apologies if there are any errors in the above text. If anything seems to be wrong or confusing in any way, please feel free to contact the teachers for further clarification.