Developing aversion towards other people's attitudes, to use the Compassionate/Lovingkindness meditation for others who have problems. Yes, very helpful. To then later get caught up in their same attitudes, of course is not very helpful.
Can we have Compassionate/Lovingkindness for ourselves in here, too? If we know that we have this conditioning, can we guard against it by reminding ourselves that we have the conditioning? Doing the Compassionate/Lovingkindness for ourselves that we have it. Then using Moral Dread when we're around other people to help remind us, "Slow down. That person's getting agitated, that person's getting controlling, I might start doing it too very soon". The more we remind ourselves that we have this tendency to join in whatever emotions other people are having, then we are more vigilant, more careful about guarding against it happening again next time we are with these sort of people. So, it's like being prepared beforehand.
The other day, I was talking about Mara. Mara is very tricky, you have to respect Mara and you have to expect that Mara will come up at any time. Well, when we're around people who have negative qualities they're exhibiting their own Maras. At these times our Mara often wants to join in, right? "Why not?" Mara says, right? This is part of watching for Mara outside. If we can see Mara outside, we're also more careful with not letting our Mara come up and join in.
So, not only do we have to be careful about our own Maras, but it also helps to be careful and to see them in other people. The more we practice with ourselves , in our formal meditation, we see our anger, we see our fear, and so on. The more we can recognize it in others, and the more we want to step back, the moment we recognize something negative in another person, we step back and go: "O-oh! That's Mara over there. I want to be careful my Mara does not join in the same game."'