According to the scriptures, the Buddha and his wife had been married in five hundred lifetimes prior to his Enlightenment. They had a very close relationship. According to the teachings, in a previous lifetime, she made a vow to become his wife during the lifetime that he would become a Buddha. Just as a Buddha in a previous lifetime made the Bodhisattva vow, vowing to become a Buddha; they say that during a previous lifetime, Yasodhara vowed to become his wife. His son Rahula, lifetimes before, vowed to become the son of a Buddha. Sariputta and Moggalana, the top two disciples, each vowed in a previous lifetime that they would become the top disciples of the Buddha.
It's almost like a football team going through time together. The quarterback stays the same, and the players always want to hang around the quarterback because he is the best thrower in the world. It's a little bit like that.
She did play a great role. As a nun, or should I say before she became a nun, she and the Buddha's stepmother were instrumental in starting the order of the nuns, which at the time was totally revolutionary. There had never been an order for ordained women ever before. She and the Buddha's stepmother were the ones who led the establishment of the order.
According to the scriptures she, as a nun, became the most gifted woman in regards to psychic powers. She had more psychic powers than any of the other nuns. And all her psychic powers were very close to that of the Buddha's. So she was the most gifted woman in regards to psychic powers. She played a great role in his life, and during the beginning years of the Buddhist order.
The question that followed it: "Is it better for the path of liberation to be in a relationship?" I can't say it is better or worse. Some people will be fine in relationships, some people will not be. It's not black and white.
Rosemary and I have been married for thirty-seven years. That's a long time, isn't it? We have had a long relationship, we have developed in the Dhamma, and I dare say that my level of practice is better than many Western monks that I know, who are single, who are celibate, who are not in a relationship, even some who have practiced as many years as I have. My level of practice may be more advanced than their level of practice. However that's not a black and white issue, because again we are talking about the probability of rebirth and how we developed in past lives which has an effect on how we are developing in this life.
There is no doubt in my mind that Rosemary and I have helped each other. We have been Kalyanamittas: good, kind, wise spiritual friends to each other. So we have benefited in this way. Whether or not this is going to work for everybody in the same way is another question.
One thing that is important if you want to grow in the Dhamma, if you are in a relationship, is to be in a relationship with someone who also wants to grow in this practice. In the old days, and in some places still in the world, parents arranged marriages. If you were Christian, you married a Christian, or if you were a Jew, you married a Jew and so on. It was standard practice, because it just made life a easier with regard to the spiritual direction. There was less confusion in this area. It is easy to understand that if people of different religions marry, there will be a bit of confusion about what they will do with the kids, how they will celebrate holidays, and so on. So this is just one of the different areas that helps make a relationship easier, when people are traveling on the same spiritual path. So whether you are in a relationship, or considering one in the future, you may like to consider that it will be easier for your development in the practice if you are in a relationship with someone who is also going in the same direction.