Death | Rosemary & Steve Knowledgebase

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Steve

3

9

Can you talk about wise attachments more? Also how to balance attachments to teachers and people.

Ref: 2001.07.x.03.09

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Rosemary

7

2

Could you talk more in detail about being objective with difficult emotions, while also being open to learning about the true causes of those emotions, so they arise less in the future?

Ref: 2001.07.x.07.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Steve

8

4

A Zen master once said, "In the beginner's mind, there are many possibilities. In the expert's mind, there are few." Question: How can we avoid, break open routines in every day life in meditation?

Ref: 2001.07.x.08.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Steve

5

4

Statement (this is Ananda here): One of the aims of our practice is the development of more and more unbroken Mindfulness throughout the day. Question: Is it possible to extend Mindfulness to the times of sleeping and dreaming? If yes, do you have any advice on how to practice Mindfulness in that way?

Ref: 2001.07.x.05.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Steve

3

Can you explain more about dealing with difficult mental states which persist after attempting objective observation, observing the body?

Ref: 2001.07.x.03.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Rosemary

6

3

In some Buddhist countries, there are certain important holidays and events, which people have told me mean that doing good, making merit on those days, perhaps by visiting and donating to monks, is 100x more valuable than doing it on ordinary days. I experience doubt when I hear these things. Are there certain times when it's more valuable to make merit or meditate?

Ref: 2001.07.x.06.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Rosemary

6

4

Some teachers claim that true deep understanding does not come from thinking about things and using thought, but instead only comes from dropping thought and looking deeply into things with awareness. These teachers say that only when we are free of the thinking mind, then true Wisdom can be understood, never with our thoughts. Can you comment on this in relation to the practice here? Thank you.

Ref: 2001.07.x.06.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Steve

8

2

We're taught to reflect on the various ways we are fortunate, and the precious opportunity we have with our life. Could you expand more on the second part of this Reflection, the precious opportunity we have with our life? I would like more clarity on this.

Ref: 2001.07.x.08.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Rosemary

9

2

A few days ago you answered a question concerning Idealism and Morality. The example of the question was using a train instead of a plane because of pollution. In the answer you said something like you can't stop the circle of Samsara. Could you please say more about that?

Ref: 2001.07.x.09.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Rosemary

7

1

Could you please discuss any techniques which are helpful for using with chronic pain and illness? Thank you.

Ref: 2001.07.x.07.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Rosemary

9

6

Can you talk more about doubt, not doubts about Dhamma or the practice, but doubt as it appears in decision making in life? Sometimes it can be so strong and cause much anxiety, wavering and confusion in the mind. It is hard to make decisions without stress in these cases. How can we de-condition this tendency, particularly if we don't have a Kalyanamitta around?

Ref: 2001.07.x.09.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Steve

4

11

Could you talk more about fear? For example, a small fear that arises as a mosquito bite, versus a big fear like the fear of death? How can we work with these fears on a relative level?

Ref: 2001.07.x.04.11

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Rosemary

6

1

How can I strengthen the Resolution or Determination Parami?

Ref: 2001.07.x.06.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Steve

3

10

Can you talk more about these important moments when Mara switches the mind to unbeneficial ways, like the judging mind, envy, sloth and torpor. How can one more skillfully and quickly root out these thoughts?

Ref: 2001.07.x.03.10

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Steve

4

8

I saw an older man dying a very painful death. His children refused to see him, saying they don't want to have anything to do with him. I don't know what had happened between them, but I know he was imprisoned for a few years because of child abuse when he was young. Now Buddhism teaches to have respect and gratitude for your parents and to take care of them. How does this relate to cases like that?

Ref: 2001.07.x.04.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2005

Rosemary

6

5

How can one best help a loved one who has lost a loved one, e.g. when your partner loses one of his or her parents?

Ref: 2005.09.x.06.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2005

Steve

8

If someone is dead for a long time, say 5 years, does it still make sense doing Compassion/Lovingkindness Meditation and wish them well in a possible other existence?

Ref: 2005.09.x.08.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2005

Steve

4

7

What happens in the moment of death according to Buddhism?

Ref: 2005.09.x.04.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2005

Rosemary

6

4

Can you explain more about Compassion/Lovingkindness in the moment of death?

Ref: 2005.09.x.06.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2005

Rosemary

7

1

In the Tibetan Book of the Dead I've read there are Bardos that you have to through before you are going to sleep. Could you, please, explain this and give methods to become aware of this just before falling asleep.

Ref: 2005.09.x.07.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2005

Steve

5

9

If you are aware that you are to die in an accident, for most people fear would be the dominant emotion, I imagine. How do you deal with this fear?

Ref: 2005.09.x.05.09

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2005

Steve

8

11

Why do we separate death and impermanence in the reflection? Don't they go together?

Ref: 2005.09.x.08.11

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2005

Steve

3

1

The death of a beloved one is often such a shock, emotions of grief are so overwhelming. How can one prepare for this?

Ref: 2005.09.x.03.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2003

Rosemary

6

4

Could you please explain how I can distinguish [being] content from complacency in my meditation practice?

Ref: 2003.07.x.06.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2003

Steve

4

1

What kind of Compassion/Lovingkindness wish would you direct towards somebody who is already dead? Would you also recommend doing Compassion/Lovingkindness towards people who have been dead for many years?

Ref: 2003.07.x.04.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2003

Steve

4

7

I have heard you both speak of the importance of our thoughts at the moment of death. I find that I can become very worried or concerned about this, as when sudden or drastic things have happened to me, often the only thought I can recall is wanting to live.

Ref: 2003.07.x.04.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany June 2020

Steve

7

4

How to prepare ourselves to the death of our parents? Sadness will be but is there a way to prepare to deal with it?

Ref: 2020.06.x.07.04

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany June 2020

Rosemary

5

10

How to help a person who lost his child?

Ref: 2020.06.x.05.10

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2014

Steve

14

7

How can we deal with fear of blame and wanting praise?

Ref: 2014.09.x.14.07

Audio answer

Special Retreat Australia April 2004

Steve

4

7

For a Westerner, non-attachment to material objects is an area of the practice I am developing without major difficulties. However, non-attachment to family, friends, and my daughter in particular, is extremely difficult. How can I work on this?

Ref: 2004.04.x.04.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Rosemary

9

5

What is the Buddha's perspective on donating organs?

Ref: 2007.01.x.09.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2010

Rosemary

7

9

How can you help people who have lost a close relative who died at 58 years old because of cancer? They are Christians not Buddhists and full of despair because they can't find any sense. What can you say to them to give them comfort?

Ref: 2010.09.x.07.09

Audio answer

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2010

Rosemary

6

8

Do you make plans for your dying and death? How would you like to die? What should happen to your body after death?

Ref: 2010.09.x.06.08

Audio answer

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2021

Steve

13

8

I have to ask you a Corona question. Every one of us has her/his own opinions and experiences with Corona. But what are your thoughts and feelings about what is happening in our world?

Ref: 2021.07.x.13.08

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2021

Rosemary

18

5

How often should we use the daily recollections? Does it make sense to pin them up somewhere in the house? What is the benefit of using them?

Ref: 2021.07.x.18.05

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Steve

18

7

When a dying person gets strong drugs for the relieve of pain and fear, how does that affect the state of mind? There is no pain, but less consciousness. How about dying during sleep?

Ref: 2017.07.x.18.07

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Rosemary

13

4

Is there any special meditation in Theravadin Buddhism for people who are dying or dead?

Ref: 2017.07.x.13.04

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Steve

12

2

I do reflections on death and impermanence daily, it helps me to feel how fortunate I am to be alive, but it does not lessen my fear of death/dying, what can I do?

Ref: 2017.07.x.12.02

Audio answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2006

Rosemary

6

7

How to use the Dhamma when one is diagnosed with a serious disease, and when one lives in fear of such a diagnosis?

Ref: 2006.01.x.06.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2006

Rosemary

2

5

Sometimes when I reflect on the fact that my loved ones could die at any time instead of acceptance I feel fear, and not wanting, clinging even stronger to them, almost not wanting them out of my sight. Can you talk about how to balance this fear?

Ref: 2006.01.x.02.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2011

Steve

4

6

Could you please talk about the two old students, Margit and Anja, who died last year? Perhaps we can meditate together for their good rebirth and their practice towards true inner peace.

Ref: 2011.09.x.04.06

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2011

Steve

4

2

What has any meaning when a loved one -- for example, a child or a parent -- dies?

Ref: 2011.09.x.04.02

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2011

Rosemary

7

1

How can we deal with the fear of a terminal disease?

Ref: 2011.09.x.07.01

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2011

Rosemary

7

Is grief selfish?

Ref: 2011.09.x.07.07

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2011

Steve

5

7

Regarding high-tech medicine, if a person is going to die soon, should we let them die undisturbed or use all intensive care to prolong life for a few days? Does Buddhism have an answer? What about donation of organs?

Ref: 2011.09.x.05.07

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2011

Rosemary

7

2

How can we overcome resistance to death reflection?

Ref: 2011.09.x.07.02

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2011

Rosemary

6

4

How to deal with worrying when one has cancer and one has children?

Ref: 2011.09.x.06.04

Audio answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Steve

16

2

What will happen to the Wat if the head nun dies one day? Do you plan such cases? What will you do?

Ref: 2010.01.x.16.02

Audio answer

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Rosemary

17

14

Can people that have already died benefit from Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation done for them?

Ref: 2010.01.x.17.14

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Rosemary

13

1

Could you please talk about the role of impermanence with letting go of fear? Example: If I have a strong fear of a difficult event occurring in the future and I know, "You can't 100 percent prevent it from happening." It helps to think, "Well, if it does happen, it is impermanent, it is Dukkha, but it won't last forever." How does this relate to the D/D reflection? Which reflection should you do come first?

Ref: 2010.01.x.13.01

Audio answer

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Steve

18

2

When we find ourselves at the edge of death, what are the recommendations and techniques to maintain a peaceful mind?

Ref: 2010.01.x.18.02

Audio answer

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Steve

14

9

When in a relationship with another person, how can you prevent yourself from getting caught up in being attached, fearing losing them, and from entering possessive states of mind.

Ref: 2010.01.x.14.09

Audio answer

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2003

Rosemary

7

6

During the seven reflections, is it important to use this particular order, or can I relate/combine impermanence with death?

Ref: 2003.01.x.07.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2003

Rosemary

9

3

When I see Dukkha, death, or the grief of another, my mind reflects, sends out a compassionate wish, and then thinks, "What's for lunch?" or a similar thing. There seems to be an aversion to letting things get too heavy, perhaps from the fear of getting upset and crying. In our daily life, how long should we reflect on Dukkha when we see it, and what should we do to make sure our reflections are balanced, not overly sad, nor overly indifferent.

Ref: 2003.01.x.09.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2003

Rosemary

7

3

When reflecting on death, in the back of my mind I feel reassurance that I will be reborn. Is this wrong thought, wanting to be reborn?

Ref: 2003.01.x.07.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2003

Rosemary

6

I reflect on death often and have seen others dying. I know death will happen, but I don't honestly believe that I will die. Is complete and honest acceptance of death for the enlightened?

Ref: 2003.01.x.06.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2003

Rosemary

9

2

Ref: 2003.01.x.09.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2003

Steve

5

12

Is the way I'm going to die influenced by Kamma? Can I gain a peaceful painless death by trying to be a good person?

Ref: 2003.01.x.05.12

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2003

Steve

5

2

Can a person whose basic needs are not fulfilled really train the mind? Is it possible to wish a starving person to overcome their fear, anger, worries. Shouldn't I rather wish them a short, painless death, and being reborn in a better situation?

Ref: 2003.01.x.05.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2003

Steve

5

7

What kind of reflections can we use at or just before the moment of death? How to overcome the fear that may be present?

Ref: 2003.01.x.05.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2003

Steve

3

10

What to do at the moment when death suddenly seems very near? For example, during a big earthquake, and the mind is overcome by fear?

Ref: 2003.01.x.03.10

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2003

Steve

4

16

What does death mean to you? Do you believe in reincarnation?

Ref: 2003.01.x.04.16

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2009

Rosemary

7

4

Could you please outline and talk about the Buddha's perspective of human life as it seems quite different to modern science. I mean at what point does a human start. Is it when the sperm joins the ovum? Also the ending of life, how do we talk about what happens? I only have an idea of Christian soul and heaven and hell or science nothing but matter and energy.

Ref: 2009.01.x.07.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2009

Rosemary

2

How does an understanding of the relationship between Compassion and Equanimity help me in my relationship with myself?

Ref: 2009.01.x.02.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2009

Rosemary

7

3

My mother is now 72 and has increasing problems with the body - arthritis, heart condition, asthma and has developed depression and other mental problems. I believe it may be related to the lack of a spiritual practice. She has recently talked of how she intends to take a pill to end her life when the suffering gets too much. Please can you give a Buddhist view on this and talk about how to deal with this wisely.

Ref: 2009.01.x.07.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2011

Rosemary

7

Although I know that it is very valuable to be here, I sometimes I have the thoughts coming up for the wish for the ending of the period or of the fear of the next period. Can you help me with this?

Ref: 2011.07.x.07.07

Audio answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2011

Rosemary

7

2

Could you please explain how to reflect about how the hindrances will not arise again in the future?

Ref: 2011.07.x.07.02

Audio answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2011

Rosemary

9

6

Could you please speak more about the importance of what we think about at the moment of death. If we think of a person or an event, how can that affect our next incarnation?

Ref: 2011.07.x.09.06

Audio answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2010

Steve

4

1

Can you go over the Five Hindrances again, and give guidance on how to meditate, or not, on them.

Ref: 2010.07.x.04.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2010

Steve

4

5

Could you speak a little about the process of death according to Theravadin Buddhism. Why is it important what we think before we die? More questions: Why is giving one's organs after death not permitted. What happens, for example, to people who die doing extreme sports at the moment of highest excitement or concentration?

Ref: 2010.07.x.04.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2010

Rosemary

6

5

I have seen the unbeneficial effects of planning on my body. Can you give us advice on how to plan for the future wisely?

Ref: 2010.07.x.06.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2010

Steve

3

9

When we die and have to let go of everything in an instant, what will help us to let go? What tools and techniques are helpful in our daily life to help us prepare for letting go at death?

Ref: 2010.07.x.03.09

Written answer

Special Retreat Australia April 2003

Steve

4

How do we fit all of these meditations into our lives? Which do we use when?

Ref: 2003.04.x.04.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Australia April 2003

Rosemary

7

5

Why can't I maintain a reasonable level of practice at home? I don't have that many distractions!

Ref: 2003.04.x.07.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Australia April 2003

Steve

4

3

My friend, who has just died, became terrified of death. She had always been a gentle caring person. I pointed this out but it didn't seem to help. What could I have done to help ease her fears?

Ref: 2003.04.x.04.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2019

Steve

16

What are some things we can do at the moment of death to ensure a beneficial rebirth? And what are some things that we can do for others at their last moments?

Ref: 2019.07.x.16.16

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2019

Rosemary

15

6

Why is it so important to have a strong and wise mind at the moment of death? Is it more important than any other moment?

Ref: 2019.07.x.15.06

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2019

Steve

12

16

Is there a special way for dedicating merits to the recently deceased?

Ref: 2019.07.x.12.16

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2019

Rosemary

13

5

I can understand the usefulness of the Four Assurances, but does the fourth assurance mean there is no connection between cause/ill doing and affects/negative consequences following this ill doing?

Ref: 2019.07.x.13.05

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2006

Steve

3

4

Can you please talk about how to deal better with the fear of death and disease of oneself and of loved ones?

Ref: 2006.09.x.03.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2006

Steve

5

8

How can beneficial mind states just before and after death be supported by oneself and perhaps through others?

Ref: 2006.09.x.05.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2006

Rosemary

9

4

How can we act wisely when someone we love suddenly dies?

Ref: 2006.09.x.09.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2006

Steve

4

6

In what respect are the last thoughts before death important for rebirth?

Ref: 2006.09.x.04.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2006

Steve

8

10

The other day Rosemary said she sees death as an opportunity - to what exactly?

Ref: 2006.09.x.08.10

Written answer

Death

Berlin QA September 2008

Steve

8

3

Please, can you say something about how to skillfully let go of worry?

Ref: 2008.09.x.08.03

Written answer

Berlin QA September 2008

Steve

7

1

How do you avoid complacency in the practice?

Ref: 2008.09.x.07.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2009

Rosemary

7

2

The Buddha was confronted with death when he was an adult. What does this mean concerning the growing up of a child? When should they confront this?

Ref: 2009.09.x.07.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2009

Steve

5

4

According to the Law of Kamma, good actions lead to a good rebirth. How can I do a lot of good Kamma and at the same time avoid getting reborn in the heaven realm, instead getting reborn human again?

Ref: 2009.09.x.05.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2009

Rosemary

6

How can I help people facing death and dying who have no belief system, who only think of themselves in a material way?

Ref: 2009.09.x.06.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2013

Rosemary

9

5

Is it alright to do Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation for people who died in cruelties long ago in history?

Ref: 2013.09.x.09.05

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2004

Steve

3

1

If one knows one is going to die how to prepare yourself? When death is really close, what type of meditation is best to use?

Ref: 2004.09.x.03.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2004

Steve

8

The Tibetan book of death and life has a detailed description of what happens when one dies. Do you know if this is true and based on the scriptures? Does Theravada have a similar book or description of the process of dying?

Ref: 2004.09.x.08.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2004

Steve

4

2

Please, do explain why it is beneficial for the meditation practice not to have any alcohol?

Ref: 2004.09.x.04.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Steve

14

17

How do we know that we are ready for death?

Ref: 2018.07.x.14.17

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Steve

14

8

Are there any scriptures about the Buddha teaching to children? Do you have any experience on the inside of how to teach meditation to children, for example at schools?

Ref: 2018.07.x.14.08

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Steve

17

20

What is the reason for using 7 instead of 5 wise reflections and for separating death and impermanence in guided meditation? Which form would you recommend us to use in our daily reflection?

Ref: 2018.07.x.17.20

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Rosemary

12

5

How to react on self-righteousness in the mind, I feel so right sometimes, that causes mental problems, right? What is right?

Ref: 2018.07.x.12.05

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Rosemary

15

3

How can the general Dukkha of life, illness, decay, old age and death caused by greed or aversion?

Ref: 2018.07.x.15.03

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Rosemary

18

6

Sometimes I fear, when imagining possible diseases or difficulties for the body, that they may really come, in a sense of self-fulfilling prophecies.

Ref: 2018.07.x.18.06

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Rosemary

15

6

For what purpose do we reflect on all the possible ways one could die, is it prepare oneself or does it have another meaning/purpose?

Ref: 2018.07.x.15.06

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Steve

17

10

In the moment of death is it important of what issue we are thinking, or is it important what kind of thinking we have, positive or pessimistic thoughts?

Ref: 2018.07.x.17.10

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Steve

13

18

What if scientists find a cure for every illness and may also find something to stop the process of aging, so people will not die from diseases anymore and have eternal life if they do not die in accidents, what would that mean for the law of Kamma?

Ref: 2018.07.x.13.18

Audio answer

Special Retreat Australia April 2005

Steve

4

3

Did the Buddha ever give precise teachings about dying and the after-death states similar to the Tibetan teachings?

Ref: 2005.04.x.04.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Australia April 2005

Steve

5

I fear I'm not deadly serious about death reflection. Is " We'll all go some times, so let's get on with it" quite sufficient?

Ref: 2005.04.x.05.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2007

Steve

4

8

Reading the newspaper clipping about the two young children who starved to death, following their mother's death, and imagining being the father returning to find such a tragic scene, I found it difficult to imagine what I would actually do and say to give Compassionate/Lovingkindness to the father. Obviously one can say, "May you find peace of mind" inside oneself for them, but its sounds rather trite out loud. Then, what about saying, "It wasn't your fault? Or, "Try not to upset yourself"? These standard comments leave a lot short, or by physically comforting them - taking their hand, etc. One risks acting as a shoulder to cry on, where the other person indulges in grief rather than overcoming it. What would you do or say?

Ref: 2007.07.x.04.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2007

Steve

3

2

How Mara's many mirrors distort reality. Why is it so difficult just to see things as they are? A leaf as a leaf? A person as a fellow human being caught up in Samara? Is it because we are always looking for hidden meanings, a secret truth? In other words, not satisfied with bare reality; denying it, not wishing to acknowledge that Dukkha simply exists?

Ref: 2007.07.x.03.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2007

Steve

3

10

Does death in one's life happen at a set time?

Ref: 2007.09.x.03.10

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2007

Steve

3

7

Can you please talk about how to deal better with fear of death and which meditations help to overcome it?

Ref: 2007.09.x.03.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2007

Steve

5

13

Could you please speak in more detail about why when we are dying, we can depend upon the good actions that we have done. Is there anything else except practicing the Paramis that makes good Kamma?

Ref: 2007.09.x.05.13

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2007

Rosemary

7

9

What else next to the development of the Paramis could be an appropriate preparation for dying and death, both on a spiritual and material level? Do you think it could help to prepare for how you would like to be treated in the hospital if you are in a situation without consciousness, to get your financial stuff in order, to have your wishes known for the memorial and the funeral, and so on, and to write it down. Perhaps this could help to bring the awareness of death to mind as well.

Ref: 2007.09.x.07.09

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2003

Rosemary

6

1

Could you please talk about Renunciation and how to practice it in daily life?

Ref: 2003.09.x.06.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2009

Steve

5

2

In the poem posted on the board, it mentions that people do not go and visit those who suffer - cancer patients, old people, etc. - because they do not know what to do or say. Can you provide some suggestions on what one may do or say in those situations, so they no longer avoid them?

Ref: 2009.07.x.05.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2009

Steve

3

1

I understand how when we want somebody to change a certain behavior, we often become the one with the problem. But if the other person is in the position to influence us with their sometimes negative behaviors, attitudes and choices, how can we find a balance in these types of situations?

Ref: 2009.07.x.03.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2009

Rosemary

2

What are some methods with dealing with fear when doing death reflection, in particular in dealing with being buried alive?

Ref: 2009.07.x.02.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2009

Steve

3

6

How can one deal best with laziness and indulging?

Ref: 2009.07.x.03.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

8

6

When I decide to meditate every day, one hour in the morning and one hour in the evening, how much time should I use the Reflection, awareness of the breathing or body, standing, walking meditation. For example, 70% Reflection, 30% awareness of the breathing?

Ref: 2000.01.x.08.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

5

12

Why do you want us not to reflect while doing walking meditation?

Ref: 2000.01.x.05.12

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Steve

4

In the moment of Death, ill from Alzheimer's disease, the mind is a wreck. What does the development of mind qualities help?

Ref: 2000.01.x.04.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

6

Could you please explain the difference between fear and worry and how we can differentiate them when we investigate the hindrances?

Ref: 2000.01.x.06.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

8

3

Sometimes a hindrance like planning comes up frequently, not all at once, but again and again, and most times I note it, then it disappears quickly. Is it enough just to note it, or does it still have an effect through it's coming up so often, and would I need a balancing Reflection at some point?

Ref: 2000.01.x.08.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Steve

7

2

Is rebirth thought to occur immediately at the moment of death?

Ref: 2000.01.x.07.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

3

1

Could you please repeat the Reflection to do before walking meditation, and maybe talk a little about Rebirth in relation to this?

Ref: 2000.01.x.03.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

3

6

Is it OK to do the Five Reflections in a conversational tone, in a way that links them all together? Example: "Yes I'm very fortunate to have a precious human body and opportunities for Dhamma practice, but Death might come at any time, any minute, and I'd better not waste this chance. Everything is impermanent and these conditions will pass away, etc." Or is it more beneficial to always stop and ponder each one separately?

Ref: 2000.01.x.03.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Steve

7

17

Rosemary talked about a story of a person who lost a child the other day. Can you tell us the story?

Ref: 2000.01.x.07.17

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

8

10

Is there a technique to prevent ourselves from creating self-images?

Ref: 2000.01.x.08.10

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

5

11

With the Death Reflection I find my mind can get quite fascinated with all the different ways to die, what they would be like, then it starts to want to experience them, so it would know definitely how it would feel. Is this a type of hindrance, and is there a technique to balance it?

Ref: 2000.01.x.05.11

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

5

9

Would you like to give a numbered list of the contents of the tool box?

Ref: 2000.01.x.05.09

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Steve

7

5

Why is it important to have a peaceful mind in our moment of death when you consider reincarnation is theory or belief, not a proven fact?

Ref: 2000.01.x.07.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

5

13

What can you do if you see a certain warping of compassion towards somebody occurring? That is, a feeling of superiority/inferiority arises, the benevolent offerer of compassion, very unskillfully done, feeling perked up and above somehow the receiver. Obviously not a true compassionate heart, but if it should be tainted even to a slight degree with this feeling, what can be done?

Ref: 2000.01.x.05.13

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

6

8

Reflecting on a very painful death, how can we have an open mind with so much pain in the body, how can we have to have a strong mind?

Ref: 2000.01.x.06.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2002

Rosemary

7

2

Could you please tell the story about Kisagotami? When I reflect on the deaths of those I love, imagining their bodies perfectly still, I feel queasy and scared. Can you talk more about using the D/D method to help us accept death?

Ref: 2002.01.x.07.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2002

Steve

3

5

Regarding death, when a person (a grandfather, etc.) is going to die, what beneficial thing can I do, or what helps this person most?

Ref: 2002.01.x.03.05

Written answer

Death

Special Retreat Thailand January 2002

Steve

5

A Thai woman once told me about their husband dying two years before in an accident. She was sad and upset. She said she didn't understand why this happened, that he was a good man, who went to the Wat a lot. I didn't know what to say to her. What can we say - whether to a Buddhist or a non-Buddhist - that would be true, correct, appropriate and beneficial and hopefully endearing (pleasant to the ear) as well?

Ref: 2002.01.x.05.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2002

Rosemary

9

6

How do I work with the fear that sometimes arises when doing the Death reflection? That there is so much more left to be done, I am not ready for it yet.

Ref: 2002.01.x.09.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2002

Steve

8

9

Could you please summarize all the different ways of doing Death reflection?

Ref: 2002.01.x.08.09

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Steve

3

9

How can you wish Compassion/Lovingkindness to someone who died already? Do you mean it for their next life?

Ref: 2004.01.x.03.09

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Steve

5

9

Please, if at the time of death if we have not the Kamma for a human rebirth or even for an animal's rebirth, what are the other possibilities? And can we help somebody who is dying to get a good rebirth even if his Kamma is not so good? Can we influence his or her mind in a beneficial way?

Ref: 2004.01.x.05.09

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Rosemary

9

7

How do we know the difference between contentment and complacency in the practice? And how can you work with complacency in our formal practice and in our daily life?

Ref: 2004.01.x.09.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Steve

5

10

In Thailand there are a lot of spirit houses in the gardens. Is this for some "people's minds" look on a way from one life to another? If it is something like that, is it possible for us to help these spirits to get out from this state?

Ref: 2004.01.x.05.10

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Rosemary

9

11

How is it if someone dies during sleeping and doesn't have any thoughts, any ideas?

Ref: 2004.01.x.09.11

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Steve

5

14

I observe scratching my head quite often and regularly during the retreat. What can I do?

Ref: 2004.01.x.05.14

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Steve

4

5

Please, what is the most beneficial thought we can have at the time of our death? If the process is fast, by an accident, or if we have time to see our death coming. If my doctor tells me next week "you have bad cancer and you have three months before dying," what is the most beneficial thing to do during those three months?

Ref: 2004.01.x.04.05

Written answer